


I Think He Loves Me~ {DISCONTINUED}

by She_Likes_To_Write



Series: It Doesn't Matter If He Loves Me [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alpha - Freeform, Alpha Mark, Alpha Nate, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anti is a human not a demon, Antisepticeye Sean McLoughlin, Antiseptiplier - Freeform, Babies, Bred, Breeding, Children, Danti - Freeform, Dark is a human not a demon, F/F, Gay Sex, I dont know what else to say, Implied Knotting, Janti - Freeform, Knotting, M/M, Mating, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Mating mark, Mpreg, Natepat, Not Really Character Death, Omega Jack, Omega Mat, Omegaverse, Pack Bonding, Pack Cuddles, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, PewdieCry - Freeform, Phan - Freeform, Rough Sex, Septiplier - Freeform, Series, Sex, Shapeshifters - Freeform, Shapeshifting, Shower Sex, Third book, Werewolf, Wolf Pack, Wolves, beta, but sort of death, human Anti, human dark, in a series, its a book, manti - Freeform, omega - Freeform, other tags should be added eventually, pack mentality, pewdiemarzia, referenced knotting, there are no demons here!, what more do you want from me?, wolf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:28:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_Likes_To_Write/pseuds/She_Likes_To_Write
Summary: The third book in the 'I Love Him~' Series!What happens when our favourite pack are thrown into disarray through a series of murder, death and sabotage?"Mark?""What?""Please don't do this..."DISCONTINUED, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK





	1. Wait!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- Welcome back guys, to the third book of the 'I Love Him~' series! We finally made it, and I never thoughts, when I was writing the first book, that I would end up over here, on this book, after writing so many damn words, my Grammarly seems concerned about how much I write, but anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Mark's P.O.V

"Mark, I think we need to talk..." I nodded, but ti was hard to miss the hesitation in his voice, and I think we both knew that something was wrong "Yeah..." I didn't want to start the conversation in case he was wanting to talk about something else, but he had no such qualms "Mark, I've been... I had this dream, and before you call me silly, let me finish!" his cobalt eyes narrowed at me, just daring me to interrupt, and so I sat back and allowed him to talk, not that I had had any plans of cutting him off, but he seemed to have other ideas "This dream, the one where I woke up and didn't... Remember Anti?" He swallowed, pale throat bobbing slightly in the low light as he looked away from me "Jack, I don't blame you for that..." he sighed in response, not giving a clear answer before trying to forget I said anything at all "This dream, Anti was... He got ran over, but then when we went to the hospital to get him... You... You tried to kill me, but then any past scars you had... They all... Ripped open..." he shivered at the memory "But it felt so real, and it's just so... I'm scared, I don't like it..." I nodded slowly, but my eyes weren't seeing him, I was looking beyond him, trying to think, I had barely even heard him, tuning him out entirely a few moments later, his dreams were so similar to what I saw...

"Jack, I... When I was stood watching you, Anti and Matt... It was because you all looked dead, but you were all still fucking moving!" he winced back as my voice raised, but then I made a conscious effort to lower it, this conversation was ours only, the entire pack did not need to hear this "Matt, his neck was ripped open again, like how you said my scars ripped open, well, his did too, and Anti, he had tire marks raking along his face, it looked like he... He'd been run over..." he paused, standing on shaky legs before approaching me and dumping himself on my lap lazily, curling into my arms and burying his face in my neck, and I could feel him scenting me, it helped his omega calm down, and I smiled a little, holding him close as he whimpered, his voice muffled into my shirt "What the fuck is wrong with us?" It sounded as if it was supposed to be a joke, but the quiver in his voice made it fall flat, and he sighed "So you had this dream not that long ago?" he shrugged helplessly but then I had the worst thought I could possibly think of, what was worse than something being wrong with me? Something is wrong with Jack, or more accurately... Our pups...

It all made sense now, why I had envisioned an ultrasound with one single pup mangled and distorted, and why only now he had this dream, my worst fears were coming true, and all because I was so careless and just allowed Jack to have my children "Jack, do you know why I never... Let you have my pups...?" he tensed, this was obviously still a sore topic for him, "Because you thought it wasn't the right time...?" I shook my head slowly, sighing a little "I did say that, and it is partly true, but there is... Another reason... Jack, I was scared, what if I passed something onto one of our pups, something strange I had picked up when I was being tested on?" he paused, moving away from me "Wait... You're not suggesting what I think you are... Mark, please no...!" his voice began to rise, but he knew me too well... "I am not purposely losing another litter, not after they have been okay for this long, it was just a stupid dream, it's fine, really, I don't know why I brought this up-" he paused at my look "Jack, I have these... Visions, I guess you could say, little hints at something that may or may not happen, one was blood on metal and that... Let's just say it's already happened, but..." deep breaths, Mark, deep breaths "There was another, an ultrasound, healthy children, but one was... Mangled, different... I think... I think that was our pups..." he shook his head, disbelieving as he fell off of my lap and backed himself up to a wall...

"No! I don't care of one of them might be different, it'll be okay, right?!" he looked at me desperately, his eyes pleading and his hands together in a classic begging motion, but I just looked away, I wished he wouldn't look at me like that... "No, it's more than that Seán, listen to me! This thing, I was able to adapt to it, I was older, stronger, but this pups can't take it, I think it's ripping the poor thing apart... Would you really want one of our pups to have to suffer in pain?" he paused, of course, he didn't want them to be hurting, but he also wanted to be able to raise them and if he did the right thing and put it out of its misery, they would die "Jack, you only had this dream while these pups are developing inside of you, I think you've ended up with this dream because of them, they have the same thing I do..." he shivered "Mark, I don't want to lose another child!" I sighed, why wouldn't he just listen for once?!

"Seán! If your omega realises something is wrong with them, it'll try and force you to miscarry, but this late into your pregnancy, that could literally be deadly for you!" he winced, not saying anything in reply as I tried to calm down, running a hand through my hair "Listen, I think you need to at least get another ultrasound, to see if I'm right, okay?" he nodded shallowly, and we both walked back into the living room, not answering any of their questions, for now, we did not want to worry the rest of the pack. Later that day, I book Jack an appointment for two days later, and he had seemed to dread those two days, but they seemed to go so fast, and next thing I knew, I was standing there, in a hospital room with Jack screaming and crying at the doctor telling him that they had to remove those pups because they could kill him, he absolutely refused, but the ultrasound was exactly the same as what I had seen, one pup mangled and further from the others, it was dying... My stomach dropped as the doctor then turned to me "You're his Alpha, you can approve the operation for him..." Jack looked up at me "Mark, no..." I took a step back, what was I supposed to do?! I didn't want Jack to hate me, but they needed to go, they could kill him! 

"Jack, please, listen to me, you need to let them go, you're strong, right? You'll be just fine, we can always have pups, later on, we don't have to have any at all if you don't want to try any more, I'm fine with that, it's your body..." Tears were dripping from his eyes, and he looked up at me helplessly, but he was still stubborn "If it's my body, why do you get to decide this, and why can't I choose to at least try and let these pups have a chance that everyone else refuses to give them?!" I winced, he did have a point, but "Jack, please, they're going to kill you before they can be born, please, think about it, about me, Anti, the whole pack, we don't want to lose you..." he looked away, and his voice was bitter as he replied "So, what, you're saying my pups have no value?"okay, that hurt.

"No, of course, I'm not saying that! You forget they're my pups too, you think I want to hurt you?! No! I just want you to be safe, and right now, you're not..." He just looked away "Fine... Just fucking do it..." I rested my head on his shoulder softly, taking his hands in my own as he sighed, he was already sat in a hospital bed, and I was beside him "Only if you stay with me...?" I looked up at the doctor, and she sighed and nodded, a lot of omegas would not have operations unless their Alphas were with them, and so they had to get used to people asking for that...

Of course, the procedure wasn't that difficult or unheard of, so it was over quickly, and the next thing I knew, he was waking up, time felt like it was flying by that day, but I took no notice of it, my mate was more important to think about right now, and of course, my heart broke when he woke up crying, and when he tried to sit up, to get closer to me, I had to push him back into the bed softly, cooing in an attempt to comfort him "No Omega, you'll hurt if you try to sit up, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?" he soon drifted back to sleep once I helped him to settle down, and then I had to face the numerous slightly angry messages from my pack mates, asking where the hell we were, the appointment was only meant to be half an hour, we had been gone for five already, and I winced as I realised I hadn't even thought to tell my pack what was going on, I was just stuck in my concern for Jack, and may of their texts became more and more concerned the longer we had been away, they kept asking if something had gone wrong, if something had happened to us, if the pups were sick, but I didn't know how to reply to them, and would it be better to tell them in person? Would Jack want to explain, or would I have to do it for him?

There were so many variables that I decided to leave it until later, quickly telling them Jack and I were fine and that all would be explained later, but I had purposely not said that the pups were okay, because I wasn't outright lying when I said that Jack and I were okay, we are, but the pups aren't, they're gone, and I had a feeling that Anti would be sad too, he knew what it felt like to have to lose a litter, and he thought that he would also be able to help us look after those pups, if they had survived and been healthy, but now another chance at being able to raise pups had been ripped away from him, he barely even seemed to care that they would not be his, as long as they were his Alpha's his omega seemed to be satisfied, he would be sad too, but nothing would compare to how I imagine Jack was feeling right now...

I continued to think, but then I realised something when Ken had tried to take my mates when I was cleaning the bathroom, I sent Felix to get him out of my sight, and he told me that Raven's pack had taken them, but... How did he get out then? Or, how did he manage to get away from his pack, and why did none of them warn us about it? There was just something about the thought that made my skin crawl, something was not right about it and I hated the thought, but I knew something was wrong, why did I not realise any of this sooner? The Doctors were soon telling me that Jack would have to stay in overnight, just so they could make sure any meds wore off properly and so they could be sure he was okay before they let him go, and they even advised that someone is around him at all times, so that he doesn't strain himself too much, but I knew he still wasn't on great terms with me, I wouldn't be surprised if his Omega was so angry at me at that moment, he had lost so many litters because of me... Does that make me a murderer? A... A child murderer?

I knew I should warn the others that we would not be coming home that night, but the thought slipped from my mind, and I didn't try to bring it back, I could worry about all of that stuff later on, right now, I had to make sure my mate would be okay, and so that was what I did, not moving from his side throughout the night, and I had hoped I might fall asleep to the soothing sound of his slow breaths, but it was no use, my mind wouldn't shut up, it felt like it was full of static and there was nothing I could do to stop it, at least I wasn't dying this time...

It was a bitter thought, but it was at least some form of comfort to my exhausted mind, and I could hear my phone, every text causing a notifications sound, but it began to get on my already frayed nerves and so I instead turned off any notifications and decided to just watch Jack rest, maybe that would calm my alpha, to see him safe in the hospital bed at my side, and then I could actually get some sleep myself as well...

I couldn't sleep, ti was that simple, but at least the night went by fast, and Jack was waking up, looking around before his eyes landed on me as he yawned and chuckled bitterly as I winced at the harsh, brittle sound "Well, I've lost even more pups now, isn't that fun? Oh well, we can just try again, even though I'll only lose them, it just repeats and repeats over and over, doesn't it? Like some horrible circle?" my Alpha crooned comfortingly, even though he was laughing, I could feel his distress through our bond, he was laughing to cover up the pain, and I hated the sound of his sad laughter, and I hoped never to have to hear it again...

Some doctor walked in a while later and told us we could leave, and there was only silence between us as I got him in the car and drove us back home, but I could still see his hand caressing his stomach softly and he was looking out of the window, his blue eyes clouded in a combination of thought and sadness that I couldn't erase no matter what, what could I even do to help him? And what about Anti? He'll be heartbroken too, he thought that he would be able to help us raise the pups, but now they were gone, and he had already had to lose two litters on his own, and one of the litters had been sacrificed to save me for fuck's sake! I love them so much, but I'm such a bad mate...

When we walked into the house, the first person to greet us was Anti, who bounded up "Are you okay? Are the pups okay?" he sounded so happy, I didn't want to have to take that away from him, but he had to know, I couldn't lie to him... "The pups are gone, Anti..." he looked down and away, and his eyes seemed less colourful, they were no longer vibrant and bouncy, but dulled and hurt as he refused to look me in the eyes, staying silent for a few moments until he mumbled a gentle "Oh..." and then he was running from my arms, even as I called out to him, but I knew there was no point trying to force him to talk to me, he just needed some time to himself, we all needed to think from time to time, and maybe that was why I let him go, seeing Jack just turn away when I looked at him, did no one want to see my face?

I decided that if no one else wanted to see me, then I wouldn't make them, instead choosing to turn into my wolf, which I hadn't done in so long, and head out into the woods, I would not force my pack to stay around me, the air in the pack house was too thick anyway, I needed to be able to clear my head a little before I returned... I soon found myself running through the trees, bounding over rocks and branches, slipping into the leaves and shaking them out of my coat, but it really wasn't as fun when there was no one there to play, so I decided to chase a squirrel playfully, but just whined as it finally escaped me and got away, was I really that out of practice...?

I found myself going home with my tail hung down and dragging through the dirt, but I really did not care, but I kept hearing something shifting, something heavy and always close, even when I had walked a far way, ti was still somewhere, was it following me? The only thing I could find was the scent as it slipped through the trees, the scent that seemed to now be turning up everywhere, that sweet, slightly floral, ambrosial scent that I just could not place, even though it seemed familiar to me, where was it... From...

Wait!


	2. With Or Without You...

Jack's P.O.V

I had no idea where my mate had gone, and I had looked everywhere for Anti, but he was nowhere, and I knew that Mark would sometimes wander out and he was an Alpha, I trusted him to be safe more than I did for Anti, I had seen how sad he had been after we told him about our... Children and he was only an omega, not to mention that we almost always told each other if we were leaving the house for any reason, and I had a feeling that something was wrong, it made my skin prickle as I asked the rest of the pack if they had seen him, and only a couple of them had been able to tell me that they saw him... Go into the basement? no one ever really went in there, it was empty and cold, and probably full of spiders and damp, why would he want to go in there?

Maybe Mark had gone down there too?

That was all I could think as I approached the door to the basement, and the light was not on at all, so I ended up going down the creaky stairs in the dark, the light switch at the top did not work anymore, so I was in pitch darkness until I reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped in something wet? And warm... What the hell was that stuff? I winced and stepped out of it, moving my hand across the wall to try and found the switch, and when it illuminated the room in it's weak, yellowed light, I wished it never had...

What had I stepped in? Blood, I had stepped in warm, fresh blood, and it made me want to run away and throw up, but I found myself caught on Anti... Laid limply on the floor, the metallic grey sheen of a gun laying off in the corner, slipped from his hand as he fell, most likely, but the wall, my god the wall, it was painted in the bright red of his blood, sprayed across the grey-silver concrete wall, it was horrible, and I wished I had not been the one to find out about this, wished I had never had to see it and it made my stomach twist, but I hadn't eaten anything to vomit, so I was just stood, absolutely frozen to the spot and looking at Anti, he was definitely gone, but I was too scared to approach his body, I just could not bring myself to do it, even though I was stood a good few feet away, I could still see his eyes, grey and dead, there was no life left in them, there was just something so painstakingly wrong about it, I hated it, so so much, but that would not bring him back, would it?

His hair was splayed out partially on the ice-cold floor below him, the fading green and grey-brown roots underneath allowed to show through at the angle, he had been meaning to redye it, hadn't he? But even then, his hair looked dull and shineless under the warm yet dim, flickering light, dead in itself, like he had been gone for so much longer than he really had, but maybe he had felt dead long before this, really... It was stringy, almost greasy and flat to his head and the floor in a way he would have hated if he had been around to see it, I could imagine it, if he could see himself now, complaining about how he wished he had died with more grace rather than slumped over in the damp basement, skin chilled to the bone and his lips were parted slightly, jaw relaxed and loose, he would almost look comfortable if it were not for the awkward angles of his limbs twisted below him, and the soulless, unfaltering dead look in his eyes, glassy and unblinking in the most disconcerting way I had thought possible at that moment, I knew I would have nightmares about those eyes...

But I could not bring myself to tell anyone else as I ran from the basement, making sure not to meet anyone else as I locked myself in mine, Anti's and Mark's bedroom, though I guess it wouldn't be Anti's anymore, would it?

I couldn't stop thinking about it, about him... Did Mark know?

Where was Mark?

...

I need to find him.

Mark's P.O.V

That scent, the one we found when the door was bust open, what they said they found where I had crashed my car and had been kidnapped from, the scent we knew but I had no idea what it was related to or why it was so achingly familiar, why hadn't I realised it sooner?

Now I just had to make sure...

I ran home, no longer caring about being in my wolf form as I made it back, heaving and returning to my human form, the one I am most familiar with, and opened the front door, but I easily picked up on the almost nervous silence, walking into the living room, I find everyone, other than Jack and Anti... Where were they?

I found Felix sat on one of the sofas, not paying any attention to Cry, who was trying to make him talk and calm down, but the pale blue eyes were blank, he barely even seemed to realise my presence when I stepped in front of him, "I can't get him to talk to me..." Cry sounded sad that he couldn't bring his mate back himself, but when I levelled my eyes with the crystalline blue of my beta, my silver and black eyes of my Alpha made him look at me for a few moments, blinking owlishly, as if he did not realise I was there, until he shot up, almost hitting me when he moved so suddenly, and he did not even give me a chance to ask what was wrong until he turned to me, biting deeply into his lip until blood was drawn "Can't you feel that?" that was all he needed to say, and then I realised, I knew I had felt strange for a while now, pushing it to the back of mind after my discovery of that scent... There was something missing...

Anti, my bond to him was gone, and there was only one way to break a bond when the two people are nowhere near each other... No, he's okay! He's got to be okay! He has to be...

...

...

...

Right?

I took a step back, looking around the room, my head was spinning, no, he had to be okay, what could have ever happened to him?!

And where was Jack?

Jack's P.O.V

I knew he was here, Alpha was back... And he was distressed, did he know? If he didn't, well, I had to be the one to tell him, right? He had to know, and I didn't want anyone else just coming across his body again as I had, it was horrible... I had failed him, I promised to keep him safe, and I failed him...

I unlocked the door to the bedroom, walking down the stairs slowly, trying to savour my time, but there was only silence downstairs, even though I knew that everyone in the pack was downstairs, why were they so quiet, had everyone worked it out? No, they would have tried to find me, I know they would've, and maybe that was why I just looked at Mark as I came to the door leading to the living room, stiff posture, something that I had learnt that when he did that, it was because he was stressed, he didn't know what to do so he tensed up, and when his eyes met mine, we just knew, he was gone, we both knew it...

I walked up to him, almost turning into a run near the end, I just needed him, because I didn't have Anti here for me anymore, did I? No, he was gone, so I needed Mark more than ever, and he did not hesitate to wrap his own arms around me as I crashed into his arms, burying my face in his neck and feeling my eyes well with tears, making my eyelashes wet as I cried into his shoulder pitifully, I didn't even care if the rest of the pack saw me anymore, they didn't know what had happened, I knew they didn't, in the way that they only showed confusion, no sadness, nothing like what was currently crashing into me, so I let myself cry, just wishing that Anti was here too...

After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore, I pulled away about an arm's distance, looking into his golden-hazel eyes, swirling like a fire, they were so familiar to me, the only comfort I had left...

"He's gone, isn't he?"

He nodded numbly, and more tears swirled in my vision, obscuring my view of my Alpha's burning eyes, full of golden fire, crackling comfortingly as he held me tightly and I heard Felix's choke, he knew as well now "M...Mark?" I felt Mark nod more than I saw it, and heard the sofa dip under Felix's weight as he collapsed down onto it "Oh my God..." I paid no attention to it as Mark murmured to me "Do you know... How? Where?" I nodded, trying to force myself to speak "Basement..." I could not say how he had died, admit to my own mate that his other omega had killed himself... Why?

He swallowed, the sound loud when I was pressed against his neck, and he did not try to move me away from him as he slowly moved across the room, and I knew where we were going as soon as he took his first step, he had to see it for himself... And I needed to be there for him when he saw it... I would not let my mate deal with all of this alone...

The basement stairs creaked under our combined weight and I had to pull away from him to keep my balance, but I still clung to his side, we needed each other, neither of us wanted to see Anti like this, but we had to do something about it, and I had a feeling that Mark needed to see him so he could actually believe it, and when we reached the floor, I remembered the blood patch and skipped over it, dragging my hand across the rough, cold concrete wall while searching for the smooth light switch, but when I found it, I turned to him, I could barely see my Alpha in the thick darkness, but I knew he was there "Are you ready?" he nodded, and I could vaguely see his soft eyes glinting in the small amount of light that came from upstairs, so I closed my eyes, trying not to think about any of this too much as I switched on the light and it blinked on after a few moments, still a dull yellow, yet it showed enough...

I know that I had hesitated to go near him, but Mark had no such qualms as he walked right up to him, not caring that he was stepping in blood spots fleck all over the floor as he walked over to him, sitting on the floor next to him and pulling the smaller omega onto his lap, but he was limp, the pale arm falling back to the floor when Mark lifted it up, and I knew his Alpha just wanted him to be okay and it didn't really know what to do, so I just watched him sit there, looking blankly at Anti, eyes scanning over him again and again as if he could not believe that he was gone, holding his head up with his hand as he pressed their foreheads together softly, he didn't seem to care about the blood running down his hand, running off of his arm and dripping onto the floor slowly, he just sat there in silence, but I still could not bring myself to come any closer, did not want to see any of it in more detail than I currently was...

Mark's P.O.V

I thought he was pale before, but this... He was so cold, so, so cold and I hated it, some part of me wanted to warm him up, telling me he would be fine, but I knew he wasn't, it was too late, I was too late, if only I had realised something was wrong, if I had stayed home instead of going outside. This wasn't how he was supposed to die, it was supposed to be a fucking car, wasn't it?

But that was when I realised... Even though the bullet had obviously gone straight through his head, it had gone through the back of his head and there was a bullet hole straight through his forehead that showed it had come out the other side, but... He wouldn't have been able to reach that, and he wouldn't have shot himself in the back of the head, it would be much easier to shoot yourself in the side of the head, not the back...

I held him slightly tighter in my arms, looking over at Jack and whining softly when I saw him, he looked so distraught, and rightfully so, but he looked so utterly broken, hair a mess and the green was rapidly fading, in fact, there was barely any of it left at all, overrun by the brown and slightly grey roots beneath, and his eyes were almost grey, instead of the usual bouncy Cobalt blue that I loved so much "Jack... Look at him for me, would you? What's wrong about this?" I hated to put him through this, but if he came to the same conclusion I had by himself, he would be more likely to actually believe it, but he looked terrified as he took a single step closer before taking two back a moment later and I crooned soothingly in my throat, soothing him as he sighed, closing his eyes and approaching me, he was too scared to look, and I couldn't blame him, but I had a feeling he was following my scent instead of using his eyes so he wouldn't see it, at least, not until he had to, and I knew that it wasn't because it was Anti, it was because he just couldn't look at someone he had managed to get close to after they had been shot in the head, it was a difficult thing, I knew that from experience...

Jack's P.O.V

I finally got a closer look at the omega I had failed to protect because I was still alive and he was not, it was supposed to be the other way around...

I blocked out my thoughts, now was not the time to dwell on them, and looked over his cold body, I just wanted to be able to get him warm again, but I knew that would never happen... His heart had stopped beating and there would be no way to bring him back, there was a clean hole through his head!

But then I realized exactly what Mark had asked me to look for, who the hell shoots themselves in the back of the head? He would have had to reach his arm around at an awkward angle and maybe not have even shot it right because of the lack of control, especially when he would or at least should have had the option of being able to shoot the side of his head with the same results, and the gun was still lying off in the corner, but how would it have ended up all the way over there if it had fallen from his hands? He would not have had the strength to throw it after he had shot, in fact, he would have died on impact, most likely...

So that meant that someone else had gotten here before me and moved things around, but it still did not explain how he got shot in the back of the head so I thought again, someone could have been with him, but he still would have most likely shot himself, and no one that loved him would do I for him, so that meant... Someone else had shot him...

I looked up at Mark desperately, not wanting to believe it, my little Anti couldn't have been killed. Not by someone else!

Mark looked up at me in response, his eyes dull and sorrowful, the dark, beautiful brown I loved so much almost seemed black in the weaker lighting "Why the fuck would he shoot himself in the back of the head?" I asked, but my voice was so small and unsure as he smiled sadly "Exactly... But only pack members could have gotten in here, which means, it had to be... Someone we trust, and I think I know who..." I looked at him, determination filling my cracking heart, I needed to be able to get revenge for him... I needed it to be able to let him rest now... "I worked out the scent, the one they found when I had gone missing from my car crash and when the door had been broken down, hey had obviously but in league with Ken, and there is someone in this pack I have not really spoken to at all any time recently... They would also have to know about my father's gun, and Anti had trusted them and so they got him alone, but why would they do this?" He trailed off, I knew he would not tell me who it was, he would keep it even, tell all of us at the same time, just as a good Alpha should, but I wanted to know before anyone else, he knew, and we were the two who were closest to Anri, so why couldn't I know, I was his mate for fuck's sake!

But I bit my lip...

...I never should have done that...

Fuck.


	3. Where Did you Go?

No P.O.V

The silence was all there was as Mark stood numbly in front of the people he would have trusted with his life, but now he knew that one of them would sooner kill him than ever actually trust him in return, they had already killed one of his mates, he would have rather died in his place, but no, life never really seemed to be that kind, did it?

He looked over them all, even though his shoulders were low and his eyes dim, his stance did not falter as he idly flicked his eyes over everyone, briefly smiling as he saw Phil with Adelaide clutching his leg and looking up at him with her big green eyes, they had changed to the most beautiful colour, and, he realised with a jolt, he had not paid enough attention to notice it until then... Her black hair was his raven colour and tied back in a neat little braid, shining and clean under the bright natural lighting, her skin was still as pale as she was when she had first been born, and he remembered, all of the heartache accompanying it, the first time he had ever seen his daughter, cradled lovingly in Jack's arms in a hospital bed, his eyes were so bright as he looked down at his new daughter, never in his wildest dreams would he have ever imagined all of this happening after than one serene moment.

He shook away the thought, eyes locked on one of the people he had thought he could trust, and just the subtle way their muscles tensed before they forced themselves to relax at his unwavering stare assured him that he believed he knew exactly who had taken his mate from him, who was stupid enough to take an omega away from his alpha and think they wouldn't find repercussions in it...

He could feel Jack's comforting presence behind him, the omega's slimmer hand interlocked with his own behind his back as he idly stroked his thumb over the pale knuckles before speaking...

...

But someone beat him to it...

"Whoever did it can die! I'll kill them myself, whoever would kill one of my packmates deserves death!" it was Felix, his blue eyes swirling in a way he had never seen before, like an angry tsunami, determined to destroy anything in its path of vengeance, but the next nine words made his determination dissolve and turn to shock...

"Then you would be just as bad as them..."

Everyone knew exactly what that meant, Felix straightening up and tensing, as if in some sort of battle stance as he turned around and raised his shoulders as if daring whoever it was to just try and fight him. Phil's pale eyes widened as he reached down, thin arms reaching down to quickly scoop Adelaide up from the floor, holding her close to his chest as she looked up at him in confusion, as if to ask what the hell was going on. Dan pulled Phil closer to him, and they automatically moved to hold their daughter between them, they wanted to keep her safe...

Then there was Cry, finally looking up at Felix in understanding, he finally got just why Felix had refused to talk to him after he had worked it out, and why he was now so worked up... Tyler and Ethan holding each other in a protective way, you try to hurt one of them, the other will be after your flank, it would almost be cute if not for the situation... Nate holding Matt, and for once, Matt himself did not seem to mind it, even cuddling closer to the Alpha as Mark's eyes passed over them passively.

...They all looked so innocent...

But just the way their blue-green, clear turquoise eyes widened ever so slightly in faux surprise, the movement to shuffle closer to the others so as not to be singled out from the rest, the tensing and untensing of their muscles which anyone else may consider shock, but Mark knew it was more than that, it was nervousness, flittering through their eyes and allowing a wave of unease to spread through them, it was unconventional, yes, to try and decide if someone had done such a heinous thing just by looking at them, but one could garner a lot more than you would think just by watching someone's movement... Just by seeing how they act and how it would be different from normal for them, is there anything different about them? Are they acting nervous? Of course, they are, because they have an innate fear that Mark may very well know who had killed his mate and they would suffer for what they had done... And my god would they suffer...

They would pay, they needed to learn that actions will always have consequences, whether you wanted them or not, they would be tied to you for life, tying you down, like chains, and there was never any escape, like a fly caught in a spider's web, or a canary in a cage, there was no way of escape, destined to die in the same place you were caught now, no matter how long it took to die, you were going to lose your life right on that very spot you were stood at that moment...

"Anti... Anti's dead..." he heard the shocked gasps ripple through the room, chattering unease spreading for a moment but soon being silenced as Mark demanded their attention with his posture alone as he growled softly in the back of his throat and his omega gripped his wrist even tighter than before... "He... He's in the basement... It looked like a suicide..." they relaxed, they thought they had gotten away with it, the turquoise eyes fluttering shut for a moment and a misplaced smile found itself tugging at their lips before they closed it away again, looking up at their alpha in shock, yet it was obviously fake to Mark, he knew it now, they thought they had won, that they had gotten away with it, but he was far from finished, not by a long shot...

"But who shoots themselves in the back of the head?-"

...

...

...

...

"Signe?"

Gasps were heard, Amy shuffling away from who she thought was her lover, she had obviously not known what the girl had been doing as she whispered sullenly "So that's why you've been disappearing..." But Signe was not about to give up yet, turning to Amy and holding Amy's hands in her own "Come on Amy, who do you believe more? Would I ever do something like this?" There was a pregnant pause as they all waited eagerly to see how Amy would react, and she did what the others thought was the right thing, pulling her hands away and glaring scathingly "I don't know you anymore, and I always trust my alpha, trust Mark, more than I trusted you, I've known him for years, why would you have a reason to lie to us all? It would be stupid and he has no reason to unless he genuinely thinks this, and I know he would not have spoken up about this to everyone unless he had some sort of evidence?" She looked up at Mark in question and he smiled lightly, she really did know him rather well...

"Yes, of course, I do Amy... I was out, as you all know when I caught that scent again, the one no one can quite... Place... Only Cry, Felix and I recognized it because it was a scent we had not found in a long time... But I finally realised just whose it was, but the scent must have changed very slowly to not be able to even recognize the change... Signe, you've been changing your scent for a long time now, haven't you? Me Felix and Cry all knew you before the scent change, explaining why we recognized it and no one else did... I need to look through your room, to see if there are any scent changers..." His smile softened as he turned to look at Amy, coffee eyes meeting even darker ones "Amy? Can I look through your and Signe's room?" The blonde sighed but nodded slowly "Of course Mark, I have nothing to hide but... Can it just be you, me and one other person, I don't want to find something... Embarrassing?" That got a chuckle from the pack as they all caught on and her cheeks were stained red.

"Yes Amy, we can look through the room along with Jack, okay?" She nodded slowly as she stood, and Mark's dark eyes turned on Felix and Cry, nodding to them subtly as they blinked in understanding, approaching Signe and dragging her to the kitchen, where they would most likely tie her up until further notice. He did not even want to think about her existence at that moment, and so he ignored it, Jack Amy and Mark all going to Amy's bedroom, which she had shared with Signe when they had all trusted the woman, but who could trust her now...?

Amy was the first to step in the, the most confident in her own room, opening the door and stepping inside, it was a little messy but overall rather clean, and so they all stepped in with relative ease, standing comfortably in the middle of the room before Mark straightened up "Okay, which side do you sleep on?" he was looking at Amy as he spoke, and she shakily pointed to the left side of the bed, it was obvious she was still in shock from all of the events that had recently unfolded, and who wouldn't be? Mark could never imagine Jack or... Anti... Betraying him in such a way...

So he stepped over to the right half of the bed, Jack following close behind as he pulled open the bedside drawer and winced, how had he been so oblivious to all of this? There was a magazine of bullets hidden neatly in the corner of the wooden set of drawers, and he pulled them out, no hesitation, and seeing that a single bullet was missing, well, they all knew where that bullet was... In Anti's head... Or, more rightly, it had been through Anti's head...

But he had at least a basic knowledge on guns, his father had wanted him to be able to protect himself, especially after he got out of that facility he had been locked away in for so long... The bullets would have fitted his fathers gun... But where did she get the bullets? He only had a single load himself, and that was locked away in a place in the house no one else could access, and even then, when he had last checked there, they had all been in their place, but now...?

He turned and didn't look back as he left the room, down to the basement, and into the room where he had no longer even wanted to go, down the wooden stairs, but he was soon going down there, and it turned out that they had never even turned the lights off down there, and he heard Amy's strangled gasp as she saw all that was going on down there, but the Alpha did not falter, he was not afraid of Anti's body, why would he be? It was pointless, so he was not stopped and did not even hesitate when he walked over to his omega, who looked even smaller and more vulnerable than ever, it wasn't fair, why did it have to be Anti...? Maybe he should ask Signe that, she was the one to kill him, and she had even had the gall to deny it, some part of his Alpha instinct, the part that was determined to protect his pack and to avenge his mate, it wanted him to kill the traitor to his pack, after all, she had done just as bad, and it would not have been the first time he had ended someone's life, even if he was very ashamed to admit it, it was a solid fact, there was nothing he could do about it, he had killed Kalix, killed Ken, what more could have been done? They had done unspeakable things, and they had really deserved it... Right?

...

Right...?

...

He could not go back in time even if he wanted to, to stop what he had done himself, he was no saint, but all he had tried to do was protect his pack, their mates and his friends and lover, he had failed to save one of his omegas... But maybe... He could bring him back? But he knew exactly what that meant sacrificing...

Everything required a balance, the light to the dark and the sadness to the happiness.. It all had to become equal, and that meant that to get his omega's life back... He had to... He hoped it would not come to that...

And he found himself cradling the even colder body once again, rocking him slowly and wincing as he pulled everything inside of himself out of his own body, trying to help Anti, he wanted to help him so badly, but he got no response...

It was too late...

Mark had sacrificed his own health and life, his soul, to try and save Anti's, and he knew of the risks, but he hoped he had been wrong... He had not told any of the pack what he had planned anyway, he couldn't have let them know, they would have tried to stop him, and he could not let them do that, not when there was even the slimmest chance that he could bring one of his mates back, but it was no use, he was too far gone, dead in all ways possible, and there was no way to save him now...

...

But, Mark was gone too, his body slumping down, a dead weight, and Jack and Amy ran over to his body, shaking him and screaming, but when everyone had crowded around him, hoping that it wasn't real, Jack found hismelf sneaking out from the basement, looking around until he saw Adelaide and picked her up, kissing her forehead and packing together a few things, knowing deep down that this was probaby a bad idea, but he had to do it, to try and keep his daughter safe, he had already been neglectful enough og her, but he could not let her get hurt just because he left her with this pack, even when the alpha had died, and had lefvt hismelf, he needed to know that she was okay, as she was the last piece of Mark he even had left anymore, and he cradled her close for a moment before making sure he had everything he needed, and he paniced when he heard the door to the basement open, running out of the house with Adelaide and the things he had packed...

He had to get away...

He took one of the cars, he could not even bring himself to care if he swerved off and killed himself, maybe then he could have been with Mark, the only reason he managed to keep control of the wheel was because he didn't want his daughter to die before she even had a chance to live, she needed to at least have a chance., that was why he was leaving all of this behind, right?

He winced at the screech of the tires against the tarmac as he hastily turned, car rocking unsteadily for a moment as he had turned maybe with a little too much force, causing the car to shake and his daughter began to cry, he was making too much noise, the others were going to find him if he didn't hurry up! They would find him! He would be found!

...What would they even do if they found him trying to run away with his daughter...?

And so he was racing down the small, curving streets, silently thankfully and cursing the fact that the roads were deathly empty, he could get through them quicker, but he would be easier to spot if the others went to search for where he had gotten to, and they would have more of a chance to catch up to him, that was if they hadn't already realised that one of the cars were gone, and so was Adelaide, and he looked down for a second, closing his eyes, he knew that Dan and Phil would be beating themselves up for losing sight of their daughter, would they even think he would take her, did they think she had gone missing herself? He knew the feeling of uselessness too well, that they would have no way to find her and yet they were still so desperate to find her, they needed her, Phil didn't even have the chance to have a child, he was infertile, he must have felt like such a failure, probably still did, you never stopped thinking about something like that, it was always on your mind, you could never even have a chance to get away from it, there was no reprieve from the ever-lasting nightmare of the fact that he had failed to even have a fucking child, he had no chance at all!

But even that thought did not make Jack stop, he needed to get away from it all, and he needed somewhere to stay for the night, and he caught sight of his daughter in the back seats, he needed shelter and food for the night, and not for his own sake...

Would they all hate him now? Or would they understand? that he just could not stay there when his alpha was gone, and even his omega half agreed with him, knowing that in the way of pack ranking that their animalistic sides relied off of, he would have moved down a lot, to the bottom of the pack and Matt would become the centre of attention as the pack omega, Nate would have to take over where Mark left off, right? It was how it was supposed to work, whatever Dark had left behind would have been gone with Mark, so he could not be the alpha leading, and it was rather obvious why Mark was out of the question now, and Ken was gone, but at least that was a relief, he would not be deceiving them anymore, he was gone, Mark himself had made sure of that...

But where was he going...?


	4. Be Alright.

2 years later...?

Jack lived alone now, and he felt so empty sometimes, but at least he had his two children with him, so he would not get too lonely, and Adelaide was going to school now, she was only small, just turned four, but she was now in kindergarten and he could not be any prouder of his daughter, but his heart was still heavy, even after the years, he still missed his alpha, wanted him to be there so badly...

He also had another little girl, not too much younger, she was one and a half, just learning words and small sentences, it was so cute to him... He had thought he had lost the children he was having with Mark when the hospital removed them, they could have died and killed him too, but apparently, one of them was still alive, as he soon found himself heavily pregnant and eventually giving birth, but this time, it was so much more painful, maybe it was because he had always been taught that to make a birth easier, you had to have an alpha with you, so your omega knew that it had to push, but he couldn't have that, he had been too afraid to go to a hospital and bring out all of the questions of where his alpha was now, because he was gone. He remembered it like a nightmare sometimes, the pain of being stranded on his bed, not able to move his legs, and the blood soaking his thighs, it was too much, and he was so glad that he only had to deliver one, and not a whole litter, he would have died before the end of that...

He became a teacher in the only primary school in his small town, after he had finished the testing and brought up his CV to the correct standard, that is, and had his own class, he was almost 22 now, and it hurt to think, he had his alpha for such a short amount of time, not more than a couple of years, how had so much managed to happen in such a small space of time? He would never be able to understand it, but every day was still an adventure, still learning how to raise his two daughters alone and teaching all of these small, innocent children, it was refreshing, to be in a place where the majority of them had not been subjected to all of the horrors of the real world, they were still small and pure, none of them knew what sub genders really entailed, nevermind actually knew what they were, and they all treated one another equally, there were girls and boys, that was it, no omegas, no betas, no alphas, just their friends and Mr. Mcgloughlin, the teacher who sometimes gave them candy and read to them on occasion, or even made up his own stories, editing out the harsher bits of his life and telling the tale of how much he had loved his mate, he had brought himself to near-tears before, but he held it back, they didn't need to see their teacher cry, what sort of impression would that leave?

He got along with most of the parents and fellow teachers too, it was almost like he was living in a place where everyone was close, and they all looked out for eachother, the town itself was like a large pack of its own, but it could still be hard, parents refusing to speak to him because he was an omega and 'shouldn't have a job, he should be home, cooking and cleaning for his alpha and raising his own children'.

Every time, having to explain that he had no mate, and one had even managed to point out his fading bond mark, the one that had never quite made sense to him, when his mate died, it should have faded away, and he should have moved on, but neither of these things happened, and he was left with a constant reminder of all that he left behind that day...

"Kaitlin! This isn't a hair salon, please leave Georgia's hair alone, okay?"

The little girl nodded, she liked Mr. Mcglouhlin, he was sweet and kind, and he sometimes let her play with his hair, it was green and sssoooo soft! She wished his hair was longer, so she could braid it, but whenever she asked if it would get longer, he only chuckled in reply and ruffled her hair in response, Mr. Mcgloughlin had always smelled so sweet and warm, different to her daddy, he smelt scary, but he smelled sort of like her mommy, and she was sweet too, always stroking her hair and kissing her temple.

They were all sat in a big circle on the carpet, the tables and chairs had all been pushed to the sides of the room so they could all fit in the middle, and Mr. Mcglouglin was sat next to her on the floor! She wanted to sit in his lap, but knew that she couldn't, because it would make Georgia upset with her, and then she would have no one to play with at break time, so she settled for sitting next to him, he felt so warm and his smile was really pretty, she wanted blue eyes like his, they were so bright and glittery, even though she was sad when he looked unhappy, when he thought no one was looking, she saw his eyes go dull and greyish, and he refused to make eye contact, and so she always tried to cheer him up when he was like that, picking flowers off of the school field and giving them to him, or drawing him a picture, when she asked what he wanted a drawing of, he always asked for a black wolf, and she became good at drawing that same black wolf, she enjoyed improving the same image, it was something she could practice in her room while her mommy and daddy were being loud and saying mean things to one another, she didn't like her daddy very much, he would make her hurt, sometimes so she would have cuts and bruises or other times where there was no visible mark left behind, because it was mental.

One day, Mr. Mcgloughlin had seen the bruises on her chest, they hurt a lot, but he made it feel better, he had told her to close her eyes and trust him, so her little green eyes had fluttered shut and her chest went cold, and she looked down suddenly to see small, beautiful crystals of ice, before they faded into her skin and she had grinned, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him as hard as he could as he laughed with her. She had asked what that was and how he did it, and he had asked if she had ever seen her parents do anything similar, and she had explained that she didn't like her daddy very much and stayed in her room a lot, and he frowned, so she carried on talking, to try and make him smile again, but he refused, simply asking one question that made her want to cry...

"Kaitlin? How did you get those bruises, honey?"

"I-I... Daddy makes me hurt sometimes, but he tells me he has to do it, to make sure I'm a good girl..."

And he was holding her close, hugging her as she cried, begging him to not say anything so her daddy wouldn't hurt her for saying anything, and so he had tried to reason with her until the end of the school day but had eventually given in, she was too afraid of being hurt even more to let him do anything about it, and so he kept his promise to her...

"Please, Mr. Mcglouhlin... Promise you won't tell anyone...?"

She was looking up and blinking owlishly as Mr. Mcgloughlin's voice broke through her thoughts...

"Come on! I'll tell you all a story!"

She thought that maybe they could be broken and hurt together...

Her pale blonde hair fell around her rosy cheeks, she looked so happy, but that did not make the fact that she was not necessarily as happy as the other children just appear, but she could pretend to make her daddy happy, to make Mr. Mcgloughlin happy...?

She thought that she was just like him, they both always looked happy to others, even if they weren't when no one was looking, but she trusted him and wanted him to trust her, so she could know why he was so sad, and then maybe she could try and help him, so after his story, when many of the children were slowly falling asleep, and Mr. Mcgloughlin called for an impromptu nap time, she crawled into his lap and looked up at him, smiling softly and curling up like a puppy as she whispered loudly and obvious, like any small child of only 6 years old.

"Mr. Mcgloughlin, why are you so sad?" and he looked down, trying to smile, but she could see his eyes were all shiny and glassy, how her eyes looked when she was about to cry, and so wrapped her small arms as far as they would go around his torso and squeezed, and smiled into his shirt when she felt his arms around her too, but pulled back and saw his smile, even when there were tears rolling down his face, and she was confused, was he sad or happy?

"Well... You know the black wolf that you draw so well?" and she nodded furiously, smiling brightly and giggling, she loved that wolf, it was now her favourite animal!

"Well, that black wolf... Have you ever seen your mummy or daddy turn into wolves?" and she nodded again, slowly, as if trying to think of a time as she replied, she had seen her mommy turn into a pretty brown she-wolf once, but when she asked to see her wolf again, she was told to never ask again by her daddy, and she feared getting hurt and never asked mommy again...

"That wolf... Was someone I knew once, I can turn into a wolf too, you know? And when you're old enough, you will be able to too! And that time I used the ice to make your bruises stop hurt? You will be able to do that!" and she had excitedly asked when that would be, and he quietened her softly, before smiling "Soon..."

"I can use the pretty ice?!" and he chuckled, rumbling in his chest as he grinned and held a hand to where her heart was "Maybe, but everyone can be different, you could have ice, like me, or you could have... Fire, or even water, or plants and earth, or lightning, do you know what that is? And even light or... Darkness..." and she hid under his arm "Darkness sounds scary!" and he laughed as he cried at that innocent statement, lifting his arm slowly "No... Darkness isn't scary... The black wolf had darkness..." and she smiled again "Can I see him?" but frowned when he shook his head, covering his face with his hands as a tear slipped under his impromptu face cover and landed on her nose, which made her sneeze as he smiled at her, though it was watery and his eyes were dim...

"No, he isn't around anymore, he's in heaven, sweetie..." and she frowned even deeper than before, hugging his arm tightly in her small grip "But I want to see him!" and he frowned too, even if she hated the frown on him "I wish I could see him too, Darling..." and then he choked on his words, and she realised that he had never called her Darling before, what was wrong with that nickname?

"Is that someone else's nickname, sir?" and he nodded numbly, like a puppet with its strings cut...

"You see, honey when you grow big like me? The world is a little... Different, okay? Do you know as there are girls and boys? Well, then there are three other classifications..." she frowned in confusion at the last word, what did that mean? And he caught her expression as he chuckled and explained "Three other ways people are known as...?" and she made a loud and exaggeratedly long 'oh' sound which made him laugh "Well, there are alphas, betas and omegas, and people say others who are omegas should be with people who are alphas..." and she smiled, she liked to learn new things "What's the difference between an alpha and a beta?" and he frowned, trying to think of a way to explain all of it to a six-year-old.

"Well, Alphas are big and strong, yeah? And omegas are small and pretty and precious, and an alpha protects their omega? Betas are everyone else, and they can make packs like wolves do?" and she nodded, she knew a lot about wolves, they were her favourite animal, and she drew them over and over, wanted to make it look perfect.

"Are girls omegas?" and he nodded encouragingly, he loved how she seemed to love to learn new things "Yes! But boys can be too, you can have pretty boys, can't you?" and she couldn't help but laugh at the way he pushed his lips out, puckering them up in a pout "Yes, because you are very pretty, Mr. Mcgloughlin!" and he grinned with her "Thank you! I'm an omega!" and she frowned as if trying to solve a particularly difficult puzzle "The shouldn't you have someone to protect you? An alpha?" and he tried to smile and nod, but it was jerky and sad "Yes! You're understanding this very well! I did use to have an alpha to protect me, the black wolf, but he isn't here anymore..." and she wanted to stop the silence and so asked "Do you have any pictures of him? That I could use to help me draw?! Or him as a person?" and he nodded, picking her up and moving to put her on his lap as he sat on his chair at his desk, picking up his phone and opening it quickly, finding the photos and showing her one.

"Oh! He is really pretty too! He looks strong too, doesn't look scary like daddy! You look so small in his arms!" and he smiled vaguely, "Do you know what your daddy is? Alpha, beta or omega?" he doubted she would know, but was soon surprised by her intelligence, she was very smart for her age "Well, I think omegas smell sweet and nice, like you and mommy, and alphas smell... Scary... Daddy is an alpha, isn't he?" and he sighed, nodding "Yes, your daddy is an alpha, I met him when we came to talk about how good you are!" and he ruffled her hair reassuringly and she asked if she could draw him, and he had agreed, allowing her to have his phone to see Mark's image and when she was finished it was time to go home and she gave him the drawing, it was a surprisingly good approximation, but when she gave him it, she caught a strange scent and she knew Mr. Mcgloughlin had something it too as he froze, metaphorically of course, and his scent became really sweet as he excused himself to the bathroom, reaching into his bag for a little bottle that made a funny sound when he moved it, like there were many small things inside of it, all she caught was the word 'heat' on the side of it, and she frowned as he ran to the bathroom, what was heat supposed to mean?

Jack, on the other hand, was in a blind panic, he should not have been able to smell that! That scent was so... Familiar, in a way that made him sure that he had just imagined it, it was impossible, after all, but there he was, forcing heat suppressant pills down his throat and wiping the gushing slick from his boxers and legs, hoping he could keep the scent hidden from the alpha teachers in the school and make it out without being pinned down and forcibly fucked on the bathroom floor of a primary school by one of his colleagues...

His body would never have mistaken that scent and accidentally sent him into heat, he was not that stupid as to believe that, so how in the fresh hell had he caught the scent of... Something too familiar that it hurt. He decided that it was the end of the school day anyway, and he could consider it when he gets home, after he had made sure that his daughters have something for tea and they are in their rooms playing, then he can retreat to his own room and think, until he has to put them both to bed and then maybe he can... Relieve himself a little, with Mark's shirt in his bed...

And that was what he did, knowing that no one else would be able to smell his heat anymore, and his slick had slowed down a lot, but it was still there, ready to kick back into full force if he could find that scent once again, and some part to him wished he could have, but unfortunately, it was gone and he had to take Adelaide from the other side of school and Amira from the daycare they had at the school too, he loved both of his daughters dearly, and they hugged his legs when he came for them.

He had named the youngest of his daughters Amira because the name reminded him of the word Amor, a Greek word meaning love, as well as the names Amy and Mark, both of which were people he never wants to forget, no matter how much it hurt as a reminder every day, he just had forced himself to live with it, her name was beautiful as far as he was concerned.

Amira Madeline Fischbach

He still gave her Mark's last name, because after all, she was still technically Mark's child, Mark's offspring, and so she had his last name in his memory, and it only made sense as Adelaide's last and would be the same that way.

Everything was okay...

Right???

...


	5. Need You Here <3

He had gotten a lot better at cooking, this was his idle thought as he stirred the stir fry around the pan as it sizzled quietly, and it was a pleasing hum in the back of his mind, allowing him some soothing background noise as he thought, making sure to keep a sharp eye on his two lovely daughters as they sat at the table, making sure that they were both safe and happy as he cooked, smiling as he finally saw that the food was ready and he scooped it onto three plates with a ladle, which was probably not the most efficient weapon of choice in that situation as he scooped it up and his omega internally whined, his heat still affecting his mind even though no one could even tell he was in it, the suppressants helping with that, even though between his legs was uncomfortably damp, though at least not as slick as he should have been, and his mind was still very much stuck in the idea that the omega was sad that he only had to make three plates of food, he should have been making four, his alpha should be with him, helping him through his heat, so where was he? Was he going to be back soon?

He shook the idea off violently, Mark was not coming to help him with his heat, and he never would be there for him again, even if the thought hurt, he had to accept it... They said time was the best way to heal, but the pain was never any less raw than it had been when he had first lost his mate, running off in a blind panic, his heart hurt and cracked and broken, there was nothing he could do to stop it, he needed his mate to help him heal, but he couldn't have him, so he was always the same amount of broken every day...

He served the food up anyway, trying to ignore his thoughts before finally making sure that everyone else in his little cottage was happy, he had a home now, and a responsibility to his children, he could not drown in his own sorrow now, he had two small lives to look after now, and he had to make sure they would at least have a chance of a happy life, one without the heartbreak he had had to suffer from losing his mate at such a young age, and there was no way to get him back, he had to deal with it one way or another. His daughters smiled at him as he finally gave them food, sitting with his smallest daughter and cutting up the noodles into small pieces and helping her eat them without making too much of a mess, but his omega was still all too keen to remind him how it should have been, his alpha, Mark, helping him with their daughters, and then after they had eaten they could all watch a film or something snuggled up together, he would be in Mark's arms and nestled in his lap, and their daughters in his own lap, until the girls had to go to bed and Mark would take him to bed and stuff him full until he was screaming, Mark cradling him as they fell asleep, still locked together and he would have just felt... Loved... He wanted it so badly...

And so that was why, after they had all finished eating, he was letting his daughters rush to their shared bedroom, and then he himself was wandering aimlessly to the front room, sitting down heavily and blankly looking through Netflix, but he wasn't really paying attention to any of it, there was no reason to, it wasn't important, not really, was it? That was how he found himself at the bottom for his recommended and he had no idea about any of the films or TV shows that had just passed him, and he sighed, knowing he would have to look through all of them again, but he knew he would not pay attention, if anything, he had just been looking for background noise, and so he turned the TV off, looking at his own reflection in the dark television helplessly, this was how most of his nights went now, only when he was alone though, he did not need his daughters to be affected by his sadness, this was only when he was alone, or he at least thought that no one else was looking...

This was all magnified by his heat, which was still insistently pulling at his mind, not letting him relax or rest anymore, and some part of him was okay with that, many of his dreams were only nightmares now anyway...

But he knew he had to do something about his... His problem, and so he was soon dragging himself to his bedroom, even with all of his limbs protesting, and making their point very well known to him, he was in pain, and he had a feeling that he only wanted to fall to the ground right where he was so that he could lay down on his stomach and lift his hips, making sure to stay in that perfect position until his alpha thought he had been good and took him from behind, even after the years, his omega still seemed to believe that this was some form of punishment from Mark, that he had not been good and so Mark had gone away for a little while, to teach him a lesson, and he hated when even his omega became disheartened, when the hours stretched into days, and then days into month, and months became years, and he was still waiting for his alpha to return, to come back to him, but he was still so confused, his omega was supposed to be able to know if his mate was dead, that was the whole point, the bond would die without both of them to uphold it, and they could go through some major lows, post-widowed lows is what they called them, even if it made no sense, they had been bonded, not married...

His soul hurt just thinking of the godforsaken word that he had grown to hate and love more with each passing day, he had thought that maybe one day... He could have married Mark, that they would have been together in every way possible, bond, knot, mating cycles, children and ring, but he never even had a chance to have that, he was pathetic... He had thought that the sadness he had been through was the post-widowed lows, but it was made apparent that he was wrong, he had thought his omega was in denial, which was understandable, but he soon learnt that was not right as it was months, and his omega should have been able to finally accept he was gone, but it didn't, and he knew something was wrong with it...

For a vain while, he had thought that maybe Mark was still alive or something, but then he remembered his cold body on the floor and quickly cowed the thought, there was no point dwelling on false hope now, was there?

He soon found himself in his bedroom, and so fell onto his bed, taking a moment to rest before forcing his eyes open once again, and pulling his weak body from the inviting bedding, he had been resting for much longer than he had thought though, he had only closed and opened his eyes, but it had been two hours, and his daughters needed to go to bed now, and so he walked to their rooms and helped them get ready to sleep, before tucking them in a kissing them softly, going back to his own room.

"Love you, mommy!"

"Love you too, my beautiful girls~"

They had always called him mommy, as if they knew that he was not really as much their father as Mark was, he was essentially their mother, really. Mommy wasn't necessarily a very feminine word, it was neutral if anything and he was proud that they would even call him that, though his heart was broken when Adelaide would sometimes talk about the people in her dreams, three were the clearest, she said they were two boys, and they were really tall to the little girl, she said one was slightly smaller, shorter, and he had pretty blue eyes, kind of like his own, and he was really pale, like him too, she said she liked him because he was really kind, and then there was the taller one, he was bigger, but still just as friendly, but he made the smaller one laugh and protected the smaller one and Adelaide, they were like a little family, sort of, they loved her, but she proudly stated she would never leave her mommy... It broke his heart because... Because he knew who she was dreaming about, she had known them when she was a small baby, they were supposed to be her parents before he stole her away and didn't look back, it reminded him how he had taken Dan and Phil's child from them, he didn't deserve her, he had not been there for her when he was arguing with Mark, he had just passed her off to Dan and Phil, who had looked after her well, but he had stolen her, because his omega was telling him that she was his child, he had given birth to her, she was his!

Then there was the third one, someone who was a little shorter than the other two, but he had dark hair and a pretty smile, as she put it, with a couple of scars and imperfections, nobody was perfect, but he was beautiful, and he was always around Seán in her dreams, holding him and her, hugging them or doing something weird realllllly close to her mommy, and he had to embarrassingly explain that that was called kissing, but he couldn't lie and say that he didn't love how he got a chance to teach her all of this stuff, or teach children, kids that were still so innocent and pure, not yet having to worry about things like how their grades were, or if they were going to end up getting raped in the middle of their fucking school just because they are an omega, that's what he had to deal with, and it was fucking horrific...

But of course, when he left their room he took a deep breathe, he hated these nights, it was when he felt the loneliest, when his daughters were in bed and he had to deal with his heat all alone, he would have killed for his mate in those quiet moments, hell, he would have even preferred having Anti over the empty bed that he had to call his, he hated how he never felt the need to nest anymore, he knew nesting was done to please their mates, to create a safe place, in a place they felt comfortable and happy all of the time, where they were okay, they were safe, but he didn't have that anymore, because he didn't have his alpha with him to make him feel safe any longer, and so he could no longer have babies and nest like he was supposed to, didn't have anyone to love him, maybe he needed to change that?

But his omega refused to move on...

What could he even do?

Well, there were many things he could try, to keep the loneliness at bay, to feed the beast of depression, so to speak, but he had no idea where to start he had no idea how to date or flirt or even fucking act, because when he met Mark something had just clicked, and before that, he had had no intention of being courted by anyone, he had just not really cared about it until his omega met his alpha and he just knew, but they had been together since high school, he had never had to learn how to be courted or whatever, he had already met his match, but then he had lost him, because they were both stupid and reckless and they had felt invisible, but there was never a day where he didn't wish away the emptiness.

He had to take antidepressants now, and he remembered how the male alpha doctor had asked him where his alpha was, and he had had to say that he had lost him, he was not coming back ever again, and he physically cringed away when the doctor had come closer, asking if he wanted to go out with him sometime. His omega had never been so disgusted, did this stupid alpha not smell the sadness basically flowing off of him? He was still fucking grieving!

He hated it because he knew why he was depressed, and it would have been so simple to fix, he could have just been fine again in minutes if he could get to what he needed, but he couldn't! He needed to be strong for his daughters as their only parent, but. He. Couldn't. If he had Mark, there would be no depression and no more of those stupid pills...

...Pills...

...

He wanted to die, to end it all, it would be easier, the shadows seemed so happy to cling to his walls in the dark silence, in the quiet where he had never been so vulnerable, he used to be strong, he needed his alpha now more than ever, but he had lost his chance and it was killing him inside. He supposed he deserved it, that was what he needed, something to remind him that he was alive, someone to keep his bed warm where it was now so cold...

But he couldn't do that, his omega half would never accept it, and where would he even find someone? Dating sites? They're stupid, catfishing at its finest, and there was no way you could find someone who was either not on there for a dare or because they were so desperate or looking for someone as a body, they didn't want a real bond or the emotions of a relationship, why would they?

Blind dates? Hell, he was more likely to go on a date with an alpha who wanted to kill him then find the one while going on a date, meeting someone you didn't know, it was more dangerous than meeting internet friends, because you hadn't even had a real chance to talk to them beforehand, you were just thrust into it without any question, it was the worst thing that he could possibly try, and so he didn't, it was rather simple really, wasn't it?

He had never again met anyone who clicked with him just how Mark had, it was too weird for him to do that sort of thing again, he had found the one he loved more than the world, but then he had lost him, it was really that simple and there was nothing more to it, water under the bridge, he supposed...

He had found himself dragged to his room while he had been thinking, he had taken so long to make it down the corridor to his room, he felt so sluggish and tired, and knew his heat was trying to find a way through his blocker, trying to make his mate come back to him, but he knew that it was no use, he wasn't going to be there even if a flipping miracle happened, it was absolutely hopeless, and some part of him knew that.

He found himself wandering to the bed, half-hearted as he pulled off his clothes, making his way to the closet, taking longer than usual with the unsteady ambling gate that he currently had, he was surprised he was even able to walk at that moment, but he found himself opening the side of the closet that he only opened for the one item, it was empty apart from it, yet he still went in it every night that he felt lonely, and lovingly folded on one of the shelves of that side of the closet, was Mark's lucky flannel, as he had loved to call it, it was a beautiful dark red colour, a winey crimson sort of colour that he had once come to associate with Mark exclusively, a plaid button up, chunky black stripes tearing across the fabric, accompanied by it's less obvious partners of thinner and thicker stripes of darker and lighter red colours, but he loved it so much because... Well...

He pressed it up to his face, breathing it in and sighing in relief as some of the tension dissolved from his thin frame, Mark had imprinted his scent on this shirt, so no matter how much he washed it or had it, the scent was still the same, and he loved it, but it didn't send him into heat because his omega knew it wasn't really Mark, it was just a trace of his scent which he loved to have with him as much as he could, but he needed to deal with his heat at least a little before he could go to sleep, and so he ended up naked under the sheets, one his back and lifting his hips, the shirt wrapped over his eyes and nose, so he couldn't see that Mark wasn't there and he could always smell the alpha as he touched himself, dipping into his own slick as lube, but it didn't feel right, not anything like Mark had felt all that time ago, he never forgot the feeling of the alpha... He did manage to come undone, but ti was never as good as when Mark had done these things to him, he didn't get his alpha's seed to calm his heat, so he just took more suppressants and fell to sleep, not caring to clean up the bed or himself, falling into a fitful sleep, but at least he got some rest...


	6. How'd You Guess?

He woke the next morning in discomfort, his heat was begging for his alpha, and he himself was aching in so many places from the awkward sleeping position, how had he even managed to fall asleep with his butt in the air? His stomach was also stuck to the sheets, and he was entirely naked, and Mark's shirt had fallen from around his face to below his face, where he could at least still smell it, and it was still clean, not covered in cum like every other body part was, sticking him down to the sheets he now had to wash before it dried anymore, he'd have to do it before he went out shopping for food, at least it was a Saturday, because the alarm for the morning had not woken him, he would have been late for work altogether, and who knew if he would even be able to keep his job if he did that more than once, they were strict about what time he had to be there, which was fair enough as he had to be there to look after small children, or they would have to find someone else to do it at a very short notice.

He got up, put away Mark's shirt, which he made sure was still clean before slowly folding it and placing it back on its part of the shelf, on the empty side of the closet that was meant for two, but he did not own enough stuff to put anything in there, he had no use for the space and so he just ignored it, occasionally shutting himself in there so he couldn't be found and he could cry in the darkness, he didn't need his daughters or someone else finding him crying in there, so he just hid away instead, it was much simpler.

He then showered, cleaning himself thoroughly until his hands hurt from massaging his scalp and his skin was red and slightly sore from being so heavily scrubbed down in scalding water which sizzle over his skin as it dripped off of his face and hid his silent tears, he wasn't particularly sad to have to cry, but sometimes you have to let the tears out to make space for the happiness, right?

That was what he told himself...

But was it even true anymore?

He dressed after drying his hair and cleaning his face, he looked surprisingly fresh and healthy, his skin was glowing and his eyes were a glittery, bright topaz, and he supposed it was because he was in heat and trying to attract his mate, so he looked very pretty, he had a feeling someone was bound to notice he was in heat, even if suppressants meant he didn't really slick and his mind was still clear, so he could think properly, he wasn't locked in his mind or in a cloud, nothing was fuzzy, and he was glad of that. He had used to feel like he was stuck in a ball of empty static, buzzing in his head and clouding his vision until he could focus on nothing anymore, nevermind actually caring for himself, he hated taking all of the pills, knew that they could...

They could make him barren, but he didn't even want any more children, did he?

No.

But, he rather bitterly knew that if he ever had an alpha again and they outwardly and vocally expressed their desire for another child, he would mindlessly be spreading his legs and allowing the alpha to fill him with even more children without question, letting their seed shoot up inside of him. It was what he was made to do, and he would enjoy it, fucking useless omega brain, he hated it so much, he wanted to have more of a life than just having more and more children over and over again until he couldn't anymore, and then being expected to raise all of them, possibly even without the alpha's help, but he would still have them, wouldn't he?

But he would have as many children as it would take to be able to get Mark, just to see him one more time, to save his life, he would do anything, just to say goodbye as he hadn't been able to last time, and he hated the thought that he would never truly be able to say goodbye and move on, never to his face, because he was probably six feet under the ground or a pile of ashes by now... Right?

Probably.

But he still combed his hair, brushed his teeth after feeding his daughters and himself, helped them get their adorable little jackets and boots on, checked he had everything and plastered on a fake smile as he opened the front door and journeyed out into the world, and he found himself walking down the pretty nature path on their way to the small shop just a couple of short roads away, showing the girls a large blue butterfly as it landed on a blooming rose flower, it looked so beautiful, and so he took a picture of it with his phone, setting it as his home screen.

"Mommy, can I go and touch it?" and he chuckled, ruffling Adelaide's hair softly as he grinned at her, trying his best to be happy with his two children.

"No darling, leave it alone, okay?"

She nodded, but her lips were pouting so he kissed her forehead and she brightened up once again, skipping ahead of him on the path, where he could still see her, as he held onto Amora's hand, making sure she didn't wander off or get lost, yet pups knew to automatically follow their omega or parent naturally, so most of the time everything was absolutely fine, and he could walk alongside them with relative ease, knowing they were well behaved and usually stayed with him, unless they saw somethign that really interested them and they got distracted, but that was rare as they would rather learn from their mommy than just look over at something and be distracted by it, they would just ask Jack what it was and he would usually try and explain in the simplest and most child-friendly way possible, which was usually relatively easy, if he was honest, mist things were pretty and innocent and he could tell them stories about the things they had seen when they got home, or as bedtime stories to help them fall to sleep when he wasn't tired himself, it helped him to relax and get them to go to bed.

They eventually found a way onto the streets and into the small shop, the one where he had to go every week to stock up on food and other things his small family needed, but he just had the luck that food would run out when he had just gone into heat, didn't he?

I mean, only an alpha would be able to tell he was in heat, the scent was only a trace of what it should have been, and he wasn't really slick, his body hated this, being repressed, but he had to do it so he could be there for his daughters and the children at the school when they all needed him... He had so many young children who seemed to depend on him, he felt like he was going to fall under the weight, it was all so much to shoulder on his own, now he understood when Mark was stressed or afraid, he had a whole pack that he had to defend, keep them safe with his own life, and he had never given up on it, he never fell or gave out under the weight of it all, so why should he?

Because you're an omega~

His mind loved to taunt him now more than ever, when there was no Mark to keep the thoughts at bay anymore, but it wasn't necessarily lying to him, but the thing that seemed to bite the most was the fact that it only ever told the truth to him, no matter how painful it was, and it was never sugarcoated, but he never told anyone else about this voice, it was all in his head, so why should he tell anyone else?

At least, that was what he told himself, so he could at least try to sleep at night...

He was holding Amora's hand as they walked into the supermarket, and Amora was holding Adelaide's hand, so they were all chain linked together in an adorable way, and he had a hand free to pick up the things he needed, it was the best system for all of them, that was what he had found, and he got quite good at dealing with children, or at least that was what he liked to think.

You're an omega, you're not special, you're supposed to be good with children~

It never left him alone, always in his head, poisoning his thoughts and filling his head with the static he hated so much, it seemed to be the most prominent when he accidentally fell into heat, maybe it was an incorporeal form of all of his doubts, that Mark was never coming back to help him, when he was at his most vulnerable during heat, and he hated it, hated the fact he had to assume that Mark was dead and in the ground, no longer around.

But what was he supposed to think?

He hadn't really been looking where he was going, engaged in an argument with his own head, that he hadn't realised he'd run into someone else, another man, an alpha. He hastily took a few steps back, to keep a safe distance so he would have less chance of smelling his heat and not hurting his daughters. The alpha looked up and grinned, it was supposed to look happy and carefree, but there was something about, it was unsettling and something wasn't right, it was already sending up red flags in his mind, alarms ringing silently in his ears that no one else could even hear, he was scared, this wasn't good.

The alpha reached a hand out to shake, and he did it was hesitance, there was most likely nothing wrong, he just had to not look suspicious for like, five minutes, and then he could be on his way and away from the stranger, where he would then be safe to relax his guard, or at least he hoped so.

"I like the girls, yours, I presume?" and he nodded jerkily, not wanting to give too much away about any of them, he needed to be as forgettable as possible, and when the dark eyes looked down at his legs, where his daughters were clinging to his legs in something akin to fear, they could also tell something was wrong, he subtly pulled them a little further behind him, and to warn them that this was not okay.

The alpha's eyes glowed a dark green, the eyes of his inner alpha as he whispered in his alpha voice "Why are you so afraid? Let me see your girls~" but he didn't obey, he would only listen to the voice of one alpha without question, and that was Mark.

"Why?" 

The alpha seemed surprised he had disobeyed for a moment, before he straightened up and glared down at him "I did nothing wrong, stop being so paranoid. What's your name?" he breathed a sigh of slight relief at the mundane topic.

"Sean, but people call me Jack, so-"

"Your full name."

His breath froze in his throat.

"Umm- I don't..."

Fuck it.

"Seán William Mcgloughlin, what about you? It's only fair that I know your name, I mean-"

"My name is not important, what about those two?" 

He gestured to the babies at the omega's feet.

"Uh... Adelaide Isla Fischbach... A-and Amora Madeline Fischbach...?"

"Why do they have a different surname?"

He wanted to run away and hide, he hadn't brought up the topic of Mark to anyone other than Kaitlin in so long...

"Umm, it's the last name from their... From their alpha..."

"They from the same one?"

"What?"

"Are they from the same alpha? They don't look very similar at all really..."

"Yes, but they were different litters! Why do you need to know all of this?!"

He finally snapped as the alpha paused for a moment.

"It's not important now..."

Then he was gone, walking out of the shops with a quick, important step, head held high in a way that made Jack shiver and walk away as another alpha smiled at him warmly, and his omega relaxed slightly.

"Hello, are you okay? That other alpha seemed a bit... Strange?"

And he found himself smiling, holding his daughters hands and smiling at this new alpha, he was quite handsome actually, he was rather tall, towering over the curvy omega, but that was to be expected of most alphas. He was lean though still looked powerful in his own way, an easy smile that looked like it should always be there, and small freckles speckled sparsely over the smooth, pale skin, Jack was only slightly paler in the bright white light pouring in from the large windows, the sun shimmering in the large dark brown doe eyes, warm like Mark's had been, and his hair was to the side in a cute quiff, hanging just over his forehead and soft and puffy, like a fluffy cloud, thick and a beautiful, healthy brown colour, glossy in the bright room.

"Yes, I'm fine, he was just a bit weird I think..."

The broad shoulders shrugged freely, and he was still smiling, he was very pretty, maybe Jack could move on...?

"Well, I'm glad you're okay, my name's Bryan Dechart, I'm guessing yours is Seán?" 

He nodded, also smiling.

"Yeah, wonder how you guessed?"

It was bitter and sarcastic, and yet Bryan laughed, and he would never forget that sound, it was so loud and deep and full, he could listen to him laugh for hours straight, over and over, he would never get tired of it, but then it stopped, but there was still a smile.

"Hey, would you like to-"

"Oh, Amelia? Come here! This is my lovely mate, Amelia, this is Seán."

He forced himself to smile, she was very pretty, an omega too, and at least he seemed to treat her right, but he just felt worse, of course, the only other alpha he seemed to like would already have a mate, just his luck, wasn't it?

"Oh! Nice to meet you, Amelia?"

"Hello! Nice to meet you too Seán!"

These two made him smile as he hadn't in ages, but the emptiness was still their, pulling at his consciousness, taunting him.

He'd never have wanted you anyway~

He hated it, but there was nothing he could do, he was like a puppet with his strings cut, not controlled yet he didn't have the power to do anything on his own, like a mannequin, empty inside and in constant pain, yet he managed to hide it through smiles and laughter, blocking out the pain that he now knew would never heal, there was no point trying to move on, was there?

So he gave up.

Seeing the two of them so happy made him want to cry, his skin was crawling, so he made some stupid excuse and ran out of the store, but he still needed to buy food from somewhere, and he sighed when he realised he would have to walk further away to the bigger store further into the town centre, but they needed food, so they walked all of the way, but when he made it to the town centre, he froze, that voice, it was so familiar.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I swear I just saw his mate in the store up there, what were the chances he would be here? I even asked his name, it was the same, but I swear Mark told us he only had one daughter... Oh...."

"What?!"

"Oh shut up, give me a minute!... She was only small, maybe he was pregnant when he ran?"

"I don't know, maybe. Why isn't Mark here again?"

"How many times do I have to explain?! They're still after his fucking head! They kill him if they found him out in the middle of some small town in the middle of nowhere, and no one else would be none the wiser."

"But why didn't we just take him and the daughters to the nest? There's enough space in there for them?"

"Because it would look suspicious, how stupid are you? They're probably pretty safe in this place anyway, it's basically out of sight and they just appear to be normal civilians..."

Then there was only silence, but Jack couldn't stop himself from rounding the corner and coming face to face with a man and a woman, the woman was a beta and the man an alpha, and even though they seemed to enjoy insulting each other, there was a fondness in their words.

The man was familiar, alarm bells ringing again, especially when they were in an alleyway, he had not thought this though when he stepped out, had he?

Those eyes glowed a dark green again, a menacing step forward.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Why are you talking about me and my children?!"

"I think you know why..." 

"No, I don't! All I know is that my mate is dead..."

"Then you don't know much, do you?"

The female looked him up and down "We can't just leave him here with all of this information, now we have to take him with us..."

"No, we cant, he told us not to."

There was a tone of finality in his voice, whereas there was defiance in hers.

"Fine... See you soon, kid." and then they were gone, in a whirlwind of fire, their element then?

He was numb, wha was happening, the only thing he could be sure about was that his mate was dead...

Right?

He was okay, all he had to do was go to the store and then he could go home and be okay...

Right?


	7. ^Nothing You Haven't Seen Now^

He was on edge.

Constantly.

He was terrified, he felt threatened, his life and that of his pups seemed to be hanging in the balance, even if everything appeared fine on the outside...

But he was starting to... See things, people, shadows moving out of the corners of his eyes, he would put it up to paranoia, but he knew it was more than that, it had to be, he became afraid of going outside but he still had to go to work and bring the girls to school, but he was always so nervous, easily snapped at others whereas he was usually patient, he couldn't relax, not even in the presence of small, innocent children, he wasn't okay and he knew it.

But he was lying to himself.

Until the day that he wasn't.

He was only being himself, he was in the primary school and looking after his class, they were all nervous too, Mr. Mcloughlin kept jumping at small noises, he was always looking around, was he okay? What was wrong with him?

But then it wasn't okay, nothing was okay, because someone else was stood in the middle of their classroom, and something about them was not friendly.

Jack may have been an omega, but he was the only adult there, so he stood and pulled the children into the corner quickly, standing in front of them and allowing his own element to crackle under his skin lightly, but then he saw, who was stood there, dressed in all white, it was almost blinding and obtrusive, and their white hair didn't help much either, but where had they come from?

Maybe it was like the element of those two he saw the other day, they disappeared in a ball of fire, so maybe they could travel that way, but it had to be rare, surely?

Where did they learn that sort of control, and why had he never seen them before?

Then there was a rapier at his throat, forcing his chin up, this man in front of him grinning sadistically and stroking the inside of his thigh, but he could not push him away without the sword cutting deeper than it already was.

"Hello beautiful, you really are very pretty like I had been told, maybe I should keep you as my own, would you be a good little omega for me? Probably not, but I would break you and you'd become a pet, maybe I could rent you out, I'm sure other alphas would like to have some fun with you..."

But then he watched a familiar blade press against the man's throat as his pale eyes widened and he froze still, but the person behind him was stood a couple of feet away, scythe pressing against his neck, the curve hooking him towards him and digging in with little remorse, it was a shining black, and it was glowing purple on the edges, shimmering, it looked acreful. (Yes, that is a word, look it up, means to be full of glitter)

He followed the blade to its handle, seeing the other blade reflected on the other side of the silver-engraved black handle, curved with beautiful markings and what appeared to be runes, it was really the most attractive thing he had ever seen, it was alluring, bringing you in closer, wanting to touch it as it glowed in its owners hands, it was entrancing, and yet when it hooked you in, like a moth to a flame, it could swing down smoothly, and then there would be no touching, it was beautiful yet simply dangerous, one of the most amazing things he had ever seen in his life...

But he knew whose that was, didn't he?

His omega definitely knew as it was keening and cooing in his mind, fawning over someone who he had not been able to see in so long, wanting to break through the heat blockers, he was near the end of his heat, but it could kick back into full force if it got what it needed, and so it did, causing him to fall to the floor as the rapier at his throat fell away, and he curled up in a fetal position, hugging his legs and trying to stop the pain, it was so bad, a desperate ache between his legs that he couldn't stop, and he knew that anyone would be able to smell it, without a doubt.

Even the children.

The poor children.

He wished they didn't have to see all of this...

But he couldn't do a thing, he was useless, incapacitated by his own body and its needs, stupid body...

Did they even know what was happening?

Probably not.

He couldn't worry about that now, there was no time, but he did see a young girl watching him in something he would almost amount to concern, frowning softly and tilting her head to the side, as if she was trying to identify what was wrong with him as he curled up and whined and whimpered, begging quietly under his breath for the pain to stop, it was too much for him, now, it had never been so strong, not even his first heat had been so bad, and he remembered complaining about that too.

But he was in so much pain...

One of the small boys near the front of the group was looking on at the two strangers in awe, who were they and how were they so powerful? But somehow, he knew that he wasn't supposed to speak up and ask now, some part of his instincts recognised danger that his consciousness did not, and so he stayed silent, waiting to see if he would eventually get a chance to ask his questions, he wanted to be powerful like that, it would be so cool!

But then everything fell silent for a few moments, and Jack savoured the next few seconds... It felt so good... His omega was whining, loving the fact that he could really sense his alpha and their bond didn't feel like it was about to fall away now, his bond mark wasn't as sore and tender either, he felt a lot better while still feeling like shit as he was still in the throes of heat...

"I'd back off if I were you..."

Oh, that voice he loved so much, he needed it, it was so familiar and warm and so so close, he needed it now, more than he had ever because his omega had been so deprived, for so long... Well, it was here now, that was all that mattered to his mind now.

"Oh alpha, stop and come here, please...~"

He no longer seemed to care about the fight, all he wanted was relief from his heat, and he would do anything to get it, and he meant anything, as long as it ended with Mark's knot inside of him, part of him no longer even cared if it was in front of the children, though he had the sense to know that was a bad idea.

"I'm sorry omega, I can't you're not safe..."

He shivered, just hearing that voice say omega after so long, but then he cried out, trying and failing to stand up as he saw green ice race towards Mark, what was that?!

It looked like frozen poison, not the calming green of a wild settled pond, or the lovely sea green Anti's eye had been, no, it was unsettling and almost neon, unnatural as if it were radioactive, and it set off so many warning bells in his heat-addled mind at that moment

But then it was being matched, black ice smashing against it and smashing the poisoned ice to shards as the omega just watched on, amazed, along with all of the children. He saw the pale eyes of the white dressed man widen and he took a step back as Mark chuckled bitterly.

"I don't know how weak you think I am, but I really suggest getting a grip and deciding to frick off..."

It sounded a bit less powerful when the swear word had to be changed, but he was in front of a class full of impressionable children, he didn't need to make their mental scarring any worse than it already would be. Nevertheless, the man still disappeared in a cluster of vines which dissolved back into the ground and Jack's attention was once again dragged to the alpha as the children now ignored him and jumped all over Mark, who did nothing to stop them, checking there was nothing behind him before letting them jump on him and falling heavily onto his back, laughing as the children explored him, sniffing at him and pulling his hair softly, lifting up the black cape wrapped loosely around his shoulders and tracing the embellishment on the front, and he let them, still laughing and closing his eyes until Kaitlin poked him and he opened one eye in interest, the dark brown looking into her light green eyes which were shimmering in delight.

"You're Marki!"

"Yes, I am probably the one you call Marki!"

And she smiled brightly, and he joined her until his nose twitched and he frowned, but covered it with a smile, holding her face gently in his hands.

"Ignoring the fact that Jack has imprinted on you-" 

He threw the omega serious look over the little girl, and Jack's breath froze in his throat, he'd imprinted on her?! They usually only did that with their own children for god's sake! Even then, he let the thought float away when Mark continued to speak to her...

"You smell familiar and... I'm not sure why..."

But then the dark eyes widened and he gently pushed the children away from him, sitting up and crossing his legs as he held her small face in his much larger hands, his skin was darker than hers, but he smelt so good, and not scary like she thoughts alphas were supposed to, so she leant into his touch thoughtlessly, there was something about him, some sort of connection that something inside of her liked so much, he was comforting in a strange and mysterious way, and he was very pretty, just as pretty as she had seen him be in the pictures, and she wanted to see him as a wolf now!

She knew not to be impatient though, she had learnt that from her daddy if she asked for more food or to not have to wait for something, he would hit her, he told her it was the only way he could make her behave...

"Wait... Your name's... it's Kaitlin, isn't it?"

And she nodded, how did he know? Had Mr. Mcgloughlin told him?

"Kaitlin Smyth... No wonder my alpha wants to protect you, honey, you're my little half-niece!"

He clicked his finger, grinning as he came up with the explanation, but she frowned softly, though she was still happy, but...

"But I've never seen you before...?"

And he smiled, nodding along.

"Yes, you wouldn't remember me, because you only saw me what you were small-"

He gestured to about an inch with his fingers before chuckling.

"Well, not quite that tiny, not unless you count before your mother had you... God, I hate your father..."

He said it quietly, but both Kaitlin and Jack heard him as the omega frowned at the hate in those words, he was usually a loving person, why had he gotten under his skin so deeply?

"Hansen, I hate him, though your mother is very kind, Cassy, I love her to bits, though I haven't been able to see her in so long..."

And Kaitlin was frowning too, before smiling in an attempt to cheer him up.

"Why?"

But it only made his once subtle frown even deeper than it had been before, and the air around him seemed to become a tint darker, it was almost menacing in a way because it was so alertingly subtle in the strangest way as if it were made to intimidate...

"Because of your father...-"

He saw Jack watching him and decided it was a good idea to elaborate for a moment.

"-Cassy is my half-sister, after my parents split up, my father got with another woman, she was lovely, her name was Dee, though I don't talk to her much now, and they had a child, only a couple of years younger than me, I think she's 20 now?... but then she... She was an omega, she found an alpha named Hansen Smyth, and he eventually bullied her into marrying him and having a child, though she had wanted a child and she loved her so much, that was you, Kaitlin! She was only 14 when she had you though... He pulled her away from her family, he forced us all to quit all communication with her when you were around a couple of years old, that's why you don't remember me, dear..."

And she was crying, hugging his arm tightly and subbing into it as he smiled sadly, pulling her into his lap and stroking her hair as she sniffled softly.

"If you're... My half-uncle, can you help me get mommy away from daddy? He hits me, and I hear her scream when I go to bed at night sometimes, it is so scary and I don't want him to hit her as he does with me, I just want mommy to be safe..."

"Yes, of course, I will do everything I can, baby, and I think it was about time that I had a talk with him as it is..."

He grimaced as Jack just watched on, was that why he and his omega had such a strong connection to Kaitlin? because some part of his subconscious was aware that she was his mate's family, and he needed to look after and defend her?

It would have been a warming thought when he had felt so lost without his mate, that he could at least see his alpha's family, but he had not had any idea this whole time, but it made a lot more sense now...

Mark flickered, his whole corporeal form glittering out of existence for a moment before he was fine again, and it made the omega blink rapidly, wondering if it had been just a strange trick of the light or he had just imagined it, but then he watched Mark look down, hanging his head and scratching the back of his neck.

"I... I need to go..."

But that had Jack whining loudly, trying to stand desperately with the support of the wall, reaching a hand out sadly, begging for the alpha to get closer and touch him, his legs were shaking and he could barely even stand.

"No! I need you alpha, right now, take me over a table, I don't care! I need you, you can't leave me now you've forced me back into heat, please...?"

"You need to stay here, to look after these children, you can't just abandon your job on the spot, Jack..."

"Please, I need something, anything... I need it..."

Mark sighed.

"Fine, do you have... Like, cloth or something... In fact, nevermind..."

He pulled off his cape in a fluent motion, and Jack crawled over to him, his alpha's scent was so strong, he wanted it to be closer, so badly, it was all he could ever want in his heat-state, he didn't care about anything else at that moment as Mark sat Jack in his lap and wrapped the cape-like black satin around their waists, the children going back to milling around and playing as if nothing had happened mere moments ago, that was a good thing as he felt Mark's hands under the cape's soft material, slowly edging down his jeans and boxers just enough until the omega could feel his alpha's dick pressing against him eagerly, and so he shifted down his own underwear and Mark's tip was pressing insistently between his legs, trying to push inside of him, and he chuckled, allowing it to stay there.

"I guess you missed me just as much as I missed you, alpha... But you still find me so easily, god did I miss you...~"

He was almost purring, rubbing against his mate and moving until Mark pressed inside of him and he sighed, resting his forehead against Mark's shoulder and panting softly.

"Oh my god Mark, it's been so long, I thought... I thought I'd lost you forever...~"

The alpha rumbled soothingly in the back of his throat, a deep keening sound which helped the omega to relax as he let it fall from his lips, moving his lips to the omega's throat and subtly pressing a kiss there, nosing across his scent glands and leaving his scent all over him again, and he loved it...

"Oh, I'd never leave you, omega...~"

And the alpha twitched inside of him, humming softly in the back of his throat and smiling softly down at the omega, yet that soon turned to a frown...

"You left me alone for two years Mark, I felt so alone... I couldn't live in that pack without you, why didn't you come to save me?"

...

...

...

"I couldn't... Ken and Signe... They were involved in something much bigger, a war that no one sees... But of course, we hunted them down anyway, there are the night and the day, light and day, and... Of course, the pack split in half after that, the ones who were willing to fight and those who didn't want to, which was fine... But I have to warn you, we're all a bit... Different now..."

He couldn't speak, so Mark filled the space instead.

"Cry, Felix, Marzia, Amy, Nate, Dan and Ethan all chose to fight, along with me, of course, but then there were Matt, Phil, Tyler and Wade just didn't want to fight, but now we have people keeping an eye on them, to make sure they are safe, and they know about it... We found you, kept tabs on you too, there was a good chance someone would come after you, though how they thought it was a good idea I came here I don't know..."

"Because you are my mate maybe?!"

The words were sharp and made Mark wince as if he had been hit as he then recoiled, he was in pain, even if it wasn't physical...

"I knew this would happen, I knew you would end up in heat, and I didn't want to risk you or your children..."

"Our children, they are ours, not just mine, you are their father, their alpha..."

"No... I was never there for them, I don't deserve that title anymore..."

...

...

...


	8. You Won't Break Them...

...

...

...

"You have to come with me..."

"What? Mark, what are you talking about?"

"You, you'll have to come back with us, you're in even more danger if you stay out here after that, they'll be after you and I'm not putting you in danger again..."

"What about... Our daughters?"

"They can... Come with us?"

"Alpha is it... Safe, for them?"

"Why would you trust me with anyone's safety?"

There was bitterness seeping into his words, and it made the pretty omega wince, shifting on Mark's dick to remind him where they were, trying to calm him a little, also trying to mend his own frayed nerves in time.

"I don't know where we would be going, I can't know if it's safe, and you are my mate and they are your pups, I know you wouldn't want harm to come to us and so I trust you to make the judgement of where we will be safer..."

And Mark was nosing at his neck and shoulder, smiling against his skin and almost purring, readjusting the omega where he was as Jack whined softly when Mark pressed against his sweet spot.

"Okay, well... I'd really rather you make the decision, I don't want to force you to come with us but I don't think we have much of a choice as it is, and you would be more protected if I took you with us instead of leaving you out in the open with a target on your back..."

"When will we leave, alpha?"

"Well, I need to... Leave, as soon as possible, but I can come back and take all three of you when you are ready to go, preferably tomorrow night? I know it's a lot to take in right now but I have to leave in an hour or so, or they'll think something happened to me, but you should be okay for 36 hours, I promise..."

"Okay, if you say so, I will get them ready to leave and... God, what do I do about my job?!"

"I... I really don't know, I have no intention of trying to make you quit, I can tell you love it and I don't want to take that away from you... I'll try to work something out while you do too... You're going to have to use suppressants for a couple of days while I come and get you, or just block off the heat entirely if you like, do whichever you want, but I suggest only trying to block it out for a couple of days, it's seeping into your scent, it's making you infertile being on them for so long, I think your body needs a break... You need to have a full heat..."

He frantically shook his head, fear shifting to the forefront of his heated mind, he couldn't let that happen, couldn't become barren as soon as he got his alpha back! But then his human side broke out as Mark slowly pulled out of him, moving slowly so as not to disturb the children around them.

"Mark, you're going to get me pregnant, but I need to have your knot..."

He wasn't angry or fearful, only resigned to the fact as Mark smiled shallowly, giving a particularly hard jerk of his hips into his omega, the one he had wanted to have back for so long, and now he was here...

"No, I'm not, an alpha can scent whether or not your body is prepared to release eggs when you're in heat, whether or not we have a chance of getting you pregnant, and right now, it doesn't surprise me that you don't want to have babies, not even your body wants that, and I know why..."

"Why?"

...

...

...

"It's not that big of a deal, I promise..."

And then he was holding his omega's hips as he bounced on him rather enthusiastically, keening softly as the subject was dropped, and the omega wrapped his legs around the alpha tighter when he felt his knot dragging along his insides, trying to stretch him out as he let it, spreading his legs a little further as it slipped inside of him, swelling as he came at the feeling he had missed so much, the feeling of fullness.

He bit down into Mark's clothed shoulder, trying to keep himself quiet as he moaned, his hips pushing down to fit together with his alpha as they were locked together, but he was glad that he had Mark's knot now, he had missed it, and yet, rather embarrassingly, his omega and body could still somehow remember every ridge, curve and feel of his alpha's cock and knot, no matter what, he had a feeling he wouldn't be forgetting it either...

It was just as much a part of him as his arm or leg, his alpha's body was the one thing he always wanted to be able to map out and memorise more than anything, screw geography, he could just learn to navigate around his alpha without being able to see, that seemed so much better to him at that moment.

Would Mark even let him do that?

It would be a strange question to ask, wouldn't it?

'Hey, Mark, can you just sit still while I run my hands all over you?'

Yes, weird, he was not doing that.

But the thought was still there...

"Hey, are you okay? Drifting off a bit there?"

And there were warm hands holding his head up as he smiled dopily, shifting minutely to just make sure that his alpha's knot was still inside of him, and he was glad when he found it was, he was really here with him!

But before he knew it, Mark was moving out of him and he crossed his legs automatically, how long had he just been thinking?!

He rushed off to the staff bathrooms, not even caring if anyone saw him and trusting his mate to look after the kids in his classroom, washing up, and some part of his omega was sad that he had to clean off his mate's cum, he couldn't leave it like that though, he didn't have the time to just lay around, he had things he had to do, and it was as simple as that, wasn't it?

When was anything ever that simple?

He decided not to ask that question, there was no need to test his luck.

"Mark? Mate?"

He wandered back in the classroom, and smiled when he saw all of the children circled around Mark, who was still sat with his legs crossed on the floor, with his jeans back on, so he was almost an equal height to all of them, and he had even allowed three of them to sit in his lap as the rest asked him questions and watched him, it was rather cute, really, and reminded him how much of a good father Mark could have been if he would just be able to give him a chance by actually being able to have a pup that actually fucking survives!

But he still has Amora and Adelaide, right?

But that felt sort of hollow, because Mark had not been able to be there for either of them when they took their first steps, or when they first started babbling, or even when Adelaide had begun to speak, and yet he felt almost like he himself should have not been able to see that without Dan, Phil or Mark being able to see it, they deserved it too, so why was he the one who was selfish enough to run off with his biological daughter, because she was really the daughter of two of his close friends, who he had stolen her from...

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He found he was asking himself that question more often now.

"Jack, I'm leaving, I'll be back for you tomorrow night, I have no idea what time, so you'll just have to wait for me, be ready to leave, I'm sorry for all of this..."

And then he was gone, in a swirl of darkness as the children looked on in fascination, smiling at the darkness as it cleared but Jack was the only one who watched it with longing, he wanted to have his mate back permanently, and he could already tell even from that brief meeting that something had changed about Mark, he acted so much more mature, and yet so different that it almost scared him, he had no idea if this really was Mark, felt so delusional that he was considering the fact that maybe this was an impostor, or one of his dreams, after all, Mark was supposed to be dead and all of what had just happened was barely believable as it was, and there was no one else there to witness if he had ever been there other than a bunch of six-year-olds who would probably just agreed with whatever he said or believe anything.

But that did not stop him from packing his things when he got home with his daughters, and he had packed almost their entire lives into those cases while the two girls watched on in confusion, what was mommy doing? Where was he going and were they coming too? But of course, they didn't know how to ask him and instead looked up at him until he saw his poor babies were confused.

"Oh girls, you two and mommy are going to live somewhere new, but don't worry, we can come back here eventually, it's like a little holiday!"

They might not even understand half of the words he had just said, but he still talked to them as if they were actually adults and not just small children who couldn't even form proper sentences, was he really that lonely, that he spoke to young children for intelligent conversation, god...

The following night had been an anxious one, and his omega had kicked in, dressing his daughters in their best clothes and brushing their hair and getting them clean, making them look neat and telling them to be on their best behaviour, some part of him wanted their daughters to look good when he finally presented the pair of them to his alpha, one of whom Mark had never even had a chance to meet before, so he was excited and nervous, making sure they looked perfect, and they also seemed to be able to sense this night was important as they sat still and didn't make much of a fuss as he got everything together and made sure they looked their best, hoping that he could get his mate to carry them, or at least touch them, so they would finally have his scent on them, that was one thing his omega had wanted for such a long time, to be able to smell his alpha on their daughters.

Everything was packed and he was ready to leave the house, he had already got his keys ready and his daughters and he were both out on the porch, sat on the steps as he kept the suitcases next to him, just waiting to see if he really had gone insane or if Mark was going to turn up, he had no idea which one he should even expect anymore, and his daughters were beginning to get cold outside as he kept them close to him in an attempt to keep them warm, but then he saw a dark flash just off of his property and waited excitedly until he saw Mark walk over to them and smile softly at all of them, and yet there was a hint of hesitance to his stance as Jack stood up and held onto his daughter's hands as he took them over to their alpha, wanting to present them to him.

"Alpha, look! These are your daughters!"

And he let go of their hands as they ran over to him, their instincts would know that he was their real father, and they did not even hesitate to wrap their small arms around his legs and hug them tightly, squeezing him at their heights, but he was just frozen, not as at ease as he had been with the children at the school, and so he also joined the trio, watching Mark's facial expression, and yet he seemed to be a blank slate, not showing a hint of anything, not giving anything away and yet he looked so tense as they looked up at him, a set of green eyes and a set of dark brown like his own.

"Do you... Do you not like them, alpha?"

And that had Mark's eyes flicking up to meet his own as he frowned softly as if he was in deep thought and that made Jack nervous as he waited expectantly for an answer, he began to get desperate. 

He lifted Amora up off of the ground, into his arms as she looked up at him with her doe eyes and he smiled at her in turn, then looking back to his alpha and holding her up to him as if so he could inspect his offspring.

"She looks just like you, alpha~"

And she did, the same dark brown eyes as Mark, which were the same almond sort of shape and glittered in the same way his did, both with their beautiful doe eyes, and her skin was not as pale as her elder sisters, more like his alpha's, slightly more tan, and she also happened to have thick, silky black hair for her age, reminding him of a raven just how Mark's had all of those years ago, god, it had been longer than he had realised...

And then he was trying to push her into Mark's arms, trying to urge him to hold her, and yet he made no move to do so.

"I... I-I don't want to drop her, I don't t-trust myself..."

It was so quiet, nothing like the loud, deep voice that Mark usually had, it was so different and small and... Unsure of itself, and it made Jack want to cuddle with his mate, to show him that he was worth everything, he doesn't have anything to be nervous or unsure about, but he's not sure if Mark would agree with that...

"You aren't going to drop her, take her, please, I want to have your scent on her, please alpha, I need this..."

And so he had gently coaxed Amora to wake as he gave her to Mark, even if he could see his alpha's arms were nearly shaking, as if he was way too afraid to drop her or hurt her but he did see a small trace of a smile on the Korean's lips when she grabbed his hand with her own, just managing to wrap her small hand around one of his fingers as she giggled and cooed and he watched her in fascination.

"She... She's so delicate..."

"You're not going to break her, she's strong, hell, she's yours..."

But then even he was unnerved when he watched both of their sets of dark eyes lock, brown on brown, and Mark shivered, quickly pushing her back into his own arms and looking away, wrapping his arms around himself, as if defensively.

"What happened? Mark...? Mate...?"

He took a step back, not laying eyes on his omega's child again, that was not good...

"I... Those fricking dreams, you know, the nightmares and the visions I had... She has them too..."

And then he was looking down at his daughter in his arms and then back at his alpha, how did he even know?

"Wha? How would you even know, she's only a little baby!"

A bitter laugh.

"I guess it takes one to know one, right?"

"I guess... She does wake up a lot in the middle of the night, crying and kicking and screaming, but I just thought that was a child's imagination, not that it could have ever been... That, hell she should not even be alive, you know that the hospital should have... Removed our pups from me before I ran and you died..."

"Well, I guess she is just special, just... Don't let her turn into the monster I am, please, I don't want to see that happen to an innocent child, the foretelling is bad as it is, she should not have to know all of these signs, but... You know that it is going to affect her childhood, right? That she knows what is going to happen?"

"You are not a monster, alpha! And... Then, wouldn't it be better to have you in her life? You know, so you could maybe try and help her through it, and when she grows up, maybe she'll need someone else who she can share this all with, someone who can understand it first hand, not me..."

"I don't even know how to control it, there has never really been a way in the first place, but the things I've had to see because of it... It's horrifying, you, Matt, Anti, dead and yet still stood and moving, that was scarring for me, nevermind a tiny girl, and this is all my fault because I must have passed it on to her somehow..."

And then Adelaide was tugging at his pant leg impatiently, she wanted to be able to have some attention too, and so he gestured to her with his foot, conscious that he was still holding onto Amora as he tilted his head to show what he was talking about as he looked up at Mark.

"Take her, please, I want to have your scent on her as your pup, and I can't carry her right now and she also needs to be able to have attention..."

And so he did pick her up, his chest rumbling in amusement as he looked at the small Irish omega that he had always loved so much as soon as he had had the chance to meet him, so long ago.

"You've had to be able to care for both of these girls on your own, and you've done that for two years, it's impressive, I couldn't have done it, you are a very strong omega, Jack, I'm proud of you."

And he preened at the praise, it had been so long since he had had Mark to tell him he had done good, it was a massive boost to his confidence as Mark's omega...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I have two other whole chapters for this book stacked up and waiting to be uploaded as I might as well be a nice bean and upload twice in a week right?


	9. Why Are You So Cruel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have totally forgotten to upload this chapter here XD   
> Im sorry about that

He was broken out of his thoughts as Mark shuffled, carefully placing Adelaide back on her own two feet and taking a step away, as if he felt that he did not belong in their picture of family, but then he was turning his back to them before Jack could say a word and then turning his head so that only half of his face could even be seen.

"We need to go... Come on..."

And he was holding his arm out, which the two girls seemed to hesitate at, but then their omega was grabbing their cases and taking the alpha's arm without an ounce of hesitation, though some part of him was... Disappointed, that Mark flinched at his touch as his ling, pale fingers wrapped around his wrist, he had wanted to lace their fingers and hands together, but he thought better of it, just because Mark helped him through his heat before... Didn't mean that he wanted to be acting romantic so soon after... That...

God, they had a lot to work through...

But then the girls were edging over and Adelaide took Mark's hand, and then also made sure to keep a tight hold on her younger sister as Jack looked at them all for a moment and gripped the case tighter, until his knuckles were white and his hands felt like they were going to start bleeding, but how was he supposed to carry the other case?

He needed two hands...

Mark grunted and shook his arm out of his grip, throwing his arm and around the thin shoulders instead as Jack used his now free hand to pluck the other case off of the ground and smiled at his alpha, not getting any facial expression in return, nothing positive at all...

But then he stopped breathing as he felt his chest compress and the air get pushed out of his lungs for a moment as all he could do was watch as black smoke wafted up from the very ground below them and covered them as if it was a blanket trying to choke them all, but he felt strangely relaxed even if he couldn't breathe, and the darkness was beautiful, it was glittering in the best way, reflecting the shimmering and yet somehow delicate silver light of the moon through it, so he could still somewhat see, even if he could not move as all of it vanished and then he was blinking his eyes back open as the arm around him dropped, and all he saw was the clearing smoke for a few moments before a room that he was certain he had never seen before, until he saw a familiar set of eyes...

...

"Back on time for once, Mark?"

A soft tease.

"Oh shut it, as if you don't take just as long as I do, you know how antsy Marzia and Cry get when you never seem to turn up on time, Cry loves you, and so does Marzia, even if that is not in a romantic way, platonic love is still just as powerful, those two get so mad at you...~"

 

And stood right there, Felix and Nate, shoulder to shoulder, yet neither of them even had a trace of a smile after Mark had returned, and the warmth they usually possessed was drained away, and that was not even mentioning how different they look, both in dark outfits, and weapons of their own soul and element at their sides, and for Felix, that meant that he had a peculiarly beautiful bow and quiver of arrows strapped to his back. They were ebbing and flowing with what looked like it was pure captured lightning, glowing lowly, even though they did not look hot to the touch, or even like they would harm at all, letting off a seemingly innocent and soft light yellow glow.

Nate, on the other hand, had throwing daggers and knives, all looked like they were made of pure, clear water with a few bubbles which shifted and occasionally popped, they looked amazing, and they even appeared to the harmless, yet he knew better than to assume that the edge of that blade would not be razor-sharp.

wearing matching pairs of black combat boots, the same as Mark had on, and the capes also seemed to be compulsory, as they all had black capes with an emblem stitched to the front, one which Jack had never seen before, and yet something within stirred a familiarity in a way that he had never experienced before, almost like a form of deja vu.

...Strange...

They all had the same emblem on the capes, yet there were differences to them that appeared to depend on the person what appeared to be a raven and a wolf both tangled together in a beautiful shimmering gold spider's web, on Marks, the wolf was a dark, dusky colour, and yet on Nate's, it was more of a dark brown and on Felix's, it was a sandy blonde colour, it showed the colours of their real wolf halves.

Then there was a second badge stitched below it, though this one was slightly smaller and easier to miss, Mark's was what appeared to be a black shadow and an hourglass alongside it, the name 'Mark Fischbach' and the title 'Commander Delta' both scrawled below.

Felix's, it had a bolt of lightning, which seemed to glow even if it only seemed to be made of simple cloth and thread, and there was also what appeared to be a paw print below it, like a wolf's print in a sort of way. Below all of this, there was his name, 'Felix Kjellberg' and 'Officer Delta' below it.

Then there was Nate, and his secondary badge was a tidal wave, almost like a whole raging tsunami, in a beautiful blue colour, with foaming waves that he could almost imagine coming to life, and then there was also a paw print on his too, the exact same match to the one on Felix's, and he wanted to know why they had that when Mark did not, but then he read the words below the badge.

'Nathan Sharp' and 'Commander Foxtrot' both scrawled neatly, and he paused at that, why did his not say Delta, like Mark's and Felix's?

And that was when he remembered what he and Mark had done in front of those children when that cape had been covering them and blushed, looking away.

"Well, I'm on night watch with Dan, I should probably get there before I get whacked..."

And then Felix had scampered away and down into a door to what appeared to be a hallway from the quick glance Jack got at it, but then the door was closed again and it was just the three of them...

"It's good to see you, Jack..."

And then, finally, Nate offered a small smile and placed a heavy hand on the omega's shoulder, and then he looked down in surprise when something small poked at his shin, and he seemed to have not even realised the two girls at his feet until that moment and he crouched down in front of them, offering a kinder smile that almost seemed just a little too forced, and putting one hand out as if to shake.

"Hello, you must be Adelaide, I knew you when you were tiny... And... Oh, I don't know you, what's your name, darling?"

Both Mark and Jack winced at that particular nickname, that was... Anti's nickname...

"Her name's Amora..."

Adelaide mumbled softly, still nervous in front of this stranger and not as quick to trust him as she was to Mark, as she could tell he was her alpha, her father, and yet she did not know of any ties to this man.

"Oh, well, hello Amora, hello Adelaide... My name is Nate..."

And then Amora took a slightly stumbled step forward and tried to shake his hand, which caused him to chuckle before standing back to his normal height.

"Well, I think we need to find you three a room..."

But that had the omega frowning, and so did his daughters at the statement, but Adelaide was the one to speak up before Jack even had a chance to do so.

"Can't we all stay with dad tonight?"

And then Mark was turning away and his face had gone bright red at that, not making eye contact with anyone in the room at all as he stayed silent and yet Nate chuckled asJack turned to see him and frowned, herding his children to him and holding them close as he looked at Mark in something akin to sadness, Nate didn't understand, he wasn't just being funny, he didn't think he...

"Mark, it's not that bad, she isn't wrong, is she?"

"I can't... I'm... Not her... I'm not that, I'm her father, I haven't been there, and... 'Dad' just sounds... Endearing... Like...I've been a good fricking parent..."

Jack sighed, wanting to be able to put his arms around Mark and tell him that he could not have expected more, it was out of the question when he was already being weighed down by so much, he could not expect to be able to do everything at once and still be standing on his feet, he would kill himself if he managed to stretch himself too thin, it was just not something that should be possible, he should not have to overestimate himself just to be able to get by or sleep at night.

Why couldn't Mark understand that?

"Mark, you have done as much as you can but then you were trying to keep all three of us safe after that, I can't ask any more of you, and you are here now, aren't you? The only question is if you are going to make the choice to stay...?"

There was a nervous and yet still somehow hopeful tint to his voice, and yet it managed to sound so delicate and nervous, and it made Mark feel as if he had to do something, so he leant down to the lower level, keeping his eyes on par with Adelaide's own before speaking in a soft, soothing rumble, like a lower-pitched croon sound that was made for an alpha to be able to relax his family, his mate and pack, as well as his pups, and it made Jack smile, at least he did care.

"Hello Adelaide, I know that we've only just met and you know I'm your.."

 

He trailed off for a moment as Adelaide perked up.

"Dad! You're my dad, Amora's too!"

And Mark blushed again, it was obvious he was not used to the endearment, and that broke his omega's heart, all he wanted was a happy family, his pups knew who Mark was to them, knew he was their father, and yet... His alpha didn't think he deserved to be that, and he hated it so much, wanted his alpha to know he was more than worthy of that title, wanted him to be able to know that he was supposed to be that person and that there was nothing wrong with him, he hadn't failed them like he himself seemed to think he had.

"Mark, alpha, please, she wants to call you that, hell, they call me mommy, you are their dad, that's just a fact, and you can be proud of that, I'm proud they are yours because they are just as strong as you are..."

Yet Mark did not glance at him, keeping his eyes locked on Adelaide's as he spoke to her again, trying to reason with her.

"Please honey, don't call me that, it makes me uncomfortable..."

"But... Dad... That's what you... Are? Why?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't... I haven't seen you in a long time... It's just... Weird for me, okay?"

But then he grinned mischievously and leaned in close to her so he could whisper in a tone that Nate and Jack could not hear.

"I know what you can call me..."

And then it became unintelligible whispers as she grinned brightly.

"Okay, Markimark!"

And he smiled.

"See? That's better, for now, maybe you can call me... That, later, when I can prove I'm actually worth being called that..."

"Okay!"

"Anyway, why can't we stay with Mark tonight?"

Nate looked at him for a moment.

"Well, I wouldn't want to keep you near anyone right now, you are an omega in the middle of a triggered heat, I can smell it, do you really want children there too?"

"Oh... Well, can't they be occupied while... Y'know... And then they could sleep in a bed with us...?"

But he was looking at Mark as he asked, and Mark looked to Nate for a moment...

"Nate... Would you mind being a child watcher for a while?"

His omega half agreed with Mark's choice, he trusted Nate to look after their precious babies and thought he was a good choice to look after them while his alpha took care of him. This meant that his omega's trust in his alpha became stronger.

"Sure, only for... An hour or a little more, okay?"

"Yeah, you know where we'll be, right?"

"Yes Mark, I know where you'll be."

"Just keep them safe, don't take your eyes off of them! And make sure just to keep them with you, yeah? I trust you though, and I hope Jack does too, that and you are one of the few people here they have actually met and seem to like..."

"Mark, yes, I know, I will take good care of them, okay?"

Jack's heart swelled at the fact that Mark was so protective of their babies, and it made him want to give his alpha more, especially while he was in heat and wanted to conceive as it was, but seeing his alpha be so protective of their pups? It made him want to be full to the brim with children again, knowing Mark would protect them, and he was so much more mature now, he had fallen in love with him all over again.

"Okay, love ya, Nate!"

He only said it as a joke, and some part of him knew that, and yet a small part of Jack was almost hurt that Mark would throw that phrase around with so much ease, but then he thought about the fact that he most likely meant platonic love and left it at that, his mind forgetting all about the thought as Mark took him by the arm and pulled him through a door, running down a long, empty hallway, it was deserted, not a single person was there and he laughed along with his alpha as they raced through a maze of hallways, he had no idea how Mark managed to navigate around the place if he was honest, it was sort of impressive.

But then he came to a slower pace and quietened down as they came to a hallway with many more doors than there had been on the other hallways and Mark turned and looked at him, seeing his confusion and going to explain just to make it all simpler for him, he was trying to help and show him quickly around at the same time, wasn't he?

Silly alpha.

"Living quarters, people are asleep..."

It was an off-handed whisper as they turned around another corner and came across a door with the same pawprint on it as Felix and Nate had on their badges.

'Carrowfang'

Written underneath, it had been such a long time that Jack had almost forgotten about the name of their pack.

Mark pushed the door open and looked back out of the door for a moment, and he saw what appeared to be a list of the names of everyone in the rooms behind the door, Nate, Felix, Mark, Dan, just to name a few, and Mark frowned at it for a moment, taking the pen from it and quickly scrawling his name across it.

'Seán Mcgloughlin'

The omega chuckled at that, and also caught sight of the print on the door next to theirs a little further down the hallway, a massive pair of antlers and yet the list of names was too far away to see if he would recognise any of them, but Mark saw his squinting at it and smiled, though it was almost bittersweet yet he shook it off and dragged him back inside.

"What was that about Mark? We still have a little time before my heat decides to kick back in...?"

And Mark looked him over with dark eyes for a moment, nodding to himself about something before looking into his eyes and sighing almost silently as he looked over at the door.

"That's... Was... Raven's pack, who lived next to us when we were still in that cabin, but then I found out that... Someone had murdered him, killed Raven and no one knew why or who did it, so they were moved in here to be able to stay safe, I talk to them sometimes, Elise was... Well, distraught, for lack of a better word, she was an omega who lost her alpha for good, she hated it so much... I feel so bad for her sometimes, but she still has to keep the pack in order... I just remember Raven letting me stay with them when I ran away, Elise asking about you and letting me cook with her..."

And then he looked away from his eyes and the door, glancing at the floor, as if it was the safest option at that moment.

"She never had a chance to have pups of their own, she was so heartbroken over it..."

And Jack swallowed his words, that must have been hard to deal with, he had not yet felt the full effects of his alpha dying, he had thought he had, but he had been wrong as Mark was still alive, somehow, and he still needed to ask about that, and even then, when he had felt down he had Adelaide and later Amora, he was never alone, but to have no pups or mate all so suddenly...

It must have been so hard on the poor women, even if he himself had never met her, she sounded so nice, how could something so horrible happen to her?

The world could be so cruel and unfair...


	10. Are You Ticklish?~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all enjoy this chapter, a little more fluffy just to make up for some dark times ahead, if you know what I mean...

His thoughts were cut off entirely as he bit into his lip hard and winced at the metallic tang of blood in his mouth, looking up at Mark with his big blue eyes, his pupils heavily dilated as he looked at his alpha up and down.

"Alpha... I need you..."

Looked like his omega had finally found the strength to manifest itself as his legs suddenly felt like jello and all he wanted was to drop to the floor and lift his hips to present himself to his alpha's hungry gaze, wanting to show everything he could offer to him but knowing there was not the place, knowing that someone could find them or try and take his alpha away from him... So, he twisted his hands into Mark's clothes and tugged at him impatiently as Mark only chuckled in response and he didn't even flinch when he felt two hands under his thighs, lifting him into Mark's arms as he wrapped his own arms around Mark's neck.

"Gonna take care of you, haven't had a chance to show you just now much I love you in so long, my beautiful little mate~"

"Oh please alpha, need you to take care of me, only you can take care of me and you know it, would only ever want you, so fill me alpha, please, I've wanted you since the moment you left yesterday, not wanted anything else...~"

Mark kissed him before smiling and bringing him through the threshold as if he was his newly wedded bride, walking down until he reached a certain door and pushed it open to reveal a bedroom and connected private ensuite which the omega was sure they would be using eventually.

And then he was being thrown on the bed and lifted his hips automatically arching his back and seeking friction and pleasure from his alpha, it was a natural reaction to want Mark to look after him now.

Then he decided that he wanted to get this to go a little quicker and shimmied out of his jeans, throwing them off of the bed without a care and paying no attention to where they actually landed as his anxious fingers soon moved to his shirt and pried that off too leave him vulnerable in only his underwear and showing so much of that precious skin that Mark had missed so much, and then he was shifting over to his alpha, and mark allowed him to unclip his cape and drop it to the floor, then swiftly moving on to his shirt, fumbling with it for a few moments before finally getting it off and whining at the reveal of his alpha's chest, there were definitely a couple more small scars, but he sort of loved them in a way.

Then his hands trailed down the chest and abs before meeting with the fabric of his alpha's jeans and making quick work of unbuttoning them before pulling them off as he sat back for a moment to just look at his alpha once again, the last time Mark had helped him in that classroom it had been rushed, with no real courting or emotion and he didn't even get a chance to see any of his alpha's body from that, and he had even been slightly disappointed at that, but it only made him even more excited for this moment instead, and so he silently thanked it.

But he barely got any time before he was being flipped over and pressed into the bed, Mark a warm, dominating presence holding him down and nipping at the nape of his neck, showing his power over his omega that he had been unable to display for such a long time, maybe in their normal life they were supposed to be equals in their own ways, but here, like this, in a place and time where they are alone with one another and everything is gone back to the base instincts for survival of a species, mating, all of that, all of the humanity in their actions is stripped away and left to the bare bones of nature and instinct, and so maybe that was why he went pliant and limp when he felt teeth at his neck, moving his head up to give more access and whining submissively, it had been a long time since their last proper courting and mating, and it had become quickly obvious many things had changed for what seemed to be the better, it almost seemed that when they had first mated and become one, they had still been growing and maybe not even fully matured, only recently presented, and yet now, both of them were truly matured and now the instincts and feeling from this was much more powerful than it had been before, now it was like a real alpha and omega.

"Good omega~"

He purred in response, arching to try and fit against his alpha's hips eagerly, pushing up to try and feel his arousal, though he was unhappy with the fact that they were both still in their boxers and voiced his displeasure through a creening whine and trying to shove them off, but the moment he felt his alpha's hands around his wrists, he cooed and stopped moving at all, waiting to see what his alpha would say.

"Patience, omega, we have time..."

It was a deep, soothing croon against his omega's pale throat before he was leaving a nice, dark lovebite there instead and then mouthing at the skin behind his ear, slowly rocking his hips into his precious little omega.

"Love you so much omega, wish we had more time to show you how much I love you, but we only have so long..."

He whimpered in response.

"Alpha, I want to have more time, I need you properly this time... I don't want to rush..."

"I don't either omega, I promise, I will find us time to do this properly..."

He smiled softly to himself, rubbing up against his alpha and lifting his hips higher, they fit together perfectly, sort of like puzzle pieces and then his alpha was pressing him down into the mattress and rutting up against him slowly, still kissing and biting at Jack's neck and whispering to him, trying to calm him because no matter how much he tried to cover it up, he could tell Jack was nervous, maybe it was because as fragile as their bond was, it was still functioning or maybe it was how tense he was in his shoulders, as if some part of him just wanted to get it over with. It made his alpha sad that he had to be scared.

Though it had been a surprise when he could feel Mark massaging his shoulders, it was a welcome one as he purred in the back of his throat, allowing himself to relax a little at the warm touch. After a few minutes, he could feel Mark's warm breath on the back of his neck as he spoke to him.

"Better now?"

And he nodded, smiling to himself again, it didn't matter if Mark couldn't see it, he didn't have to, to know that it was there, and it made him feel more confident now, his omega was much more relaxed.

"Y'know, you can tell me if you want to stop or slow down or anything, right?"

"Of course I know that I'm not scared I'm just... A little nervous, I'll be fine alpha, I promise, it's just... Been a while since we've been like this..."

"Of course omega~"

And then he was slowly working off his boxers as well as his omega's too, rolling them over so Jack was laid on top of him and smiling up at his surprised little face.

"Hullo~"

That giggle, it was the most adorable thing he had ever heard before he leant up and left a chaste kiss on those soft, pink lips and grinned even as Jack laughed at his cheesiness, softly hitting his chest and snuggling into his alpha's neck, biting at the skin as they were silent for a few moments, but of course, Mark's alpha became slightly impatient as it could feel his omega's slick dripping from out of him and onto his own stomach, but he held it off, they had time, they had to be patient.

But then he could feel Jack's hand slowly gliding down both of their bodies between them, through the slick that was slowly dripping everywhere, and then watched the pretty blue eyes squeeze shut as he dipped his own fingers into himself and Mark was quick to stop him, pulling his hand away and shushing him as his omega's beautiful eyes watered.

"Hey, hey, calm down angel, we don't need to rush, okay? Slow down a little, or you're going to hurt yourself...~"

"I know alpha I just... I need you~..."

"I know...~"

And then he was being held in place as Mark's own fingers wandered down instead, pushing two of them inside of him without hesitation and curling up until the omega cried out, arching upwards as Mark slowly thrust his fingers in and out of him steadily, the other hand holding his hips to keep him still while he was still leaving marks on any pale skin he could reach, slowly painting him in a beautiful array of purples and reds.

He slowly scissored him open, still rumbling deeply and crooning against his omega's throat and mouthing at the skin flushed red, licking at the skin as if he could taste the arousal, but his omega was so sweet, like sugar, and yet on his scent glands it was warm, it reminded him of honey, and his soft, flowery sort of scent was magnified while in heat, combated by Mark's own spiced scent, something dark and dangerous.

Jack whined as the friction was taken away, Mark's fingers slipping out of him, but he went silent when he felt his alpha's cock spring up instead, pressing against him, quickly finding his dripping entrance and pressing until that was pulled away too and he pressed his hips down, trying to find his alpha again as he heard a deep chuckle in reply, yelping as he was pulled into Mark's lap instead and then being pressed down before he could even react, arms gripping tightly around his alpha's shoulders and face pressed into his neck as he was finally filled, his body crying out in relief.

"Oh alpha~"

He was slowly pulled away, until.

"Omega~"

And then he was slammed back down, crying out at the strange angle that allowed for Mark to find a place inside of him he never had before, hitting a soft spot that made him see stars for a moment, body going limp for a split second before he tensed, painting both of their stomachs with his release as he blushed and looked away.

"S-sorry alpha...?~"

"Why are you apologising? You're in heat angel, I could get you off without even being inside of you, but you wouldn't want that, would you?"

He shook his head, Mark gripping his hips tightly and leaving brands and bruises from his fingertips as his hands dug into the omega's soft flesh, keeping a tight grip as he moved him up and down, the omega bouncing himself up at the same time, letting Mark lead him to the best places that he was amazed Mark still remembered, but then he was being moved again, twisted around as Mark slipped out of him and he cried out, but the second he was flipped stomach-down on the bed, he lifted his hips and arched his back, trying to present even when his legs were shaking.

And then Mark was pushing back inside of him, growling next to his neck and biting and nipping at his nape again, sending small shocks from the bites to his scent glands, it was one of the uses of a bond mark on an omega, it was supposed to dilute the scent of the omega when he was in heat, and it also displayed his alpha's scent too, so others would be more hesitant to try and take him for themselves as they could scent that he was already owned like the bitch in heat he was, wanted nothing more than to be owned at that moment.

"Please, please, please! Alpha! Knot, please!"

His eyes were glossed over and his eyes almost entirely covered by his pupil blow wide with lust, managing to get a last glance at his alpha before he was being pressed hard into the bed, coming undone again as Mark pushed deep inside of him one last time before his knot swelled and they were locked together, but that didn't mean it was over, held close by strong arms as he went entirely loose and pliant, tensing around his alpha as he came but then his omega was whining loudly, trying to shuffle back, the omega part of him entirely confused and almost feeling some sort of betrayed.

Where was the cum?

Why did his alpha not think he was worthy of being filled?

It had been so long without properly having sex with his mate that he had not been able to realise that Mark had managed to slip on a condom at some point, all he wanted was to give Mark another child, he was already so protective of their daughters, and he wanted to be able to prove that he was still fertile even after all of those suppressant pills, so why wasn't he given a chance?

But even with his knot restricting his movement, Mark's hips were still stuttering into him as his omega's hole fluttered around him at the overstimulation, and he winced at his omega's small, sad cries, he had worked out what he had done now, and attempted to calm him a little by sinking his teeth into Jack's mate bond over his scent gland, but even that did very little to soothe him, he was so distraught, but Mark knew that he was very unlikely to get pregnant at all that heat, not so soon after taking so many heat suppressing pills, yet he didn't want to have to risk it, not when they could be safe, and knew that his omega would never agree to that during heat, and so hid it from him, knowing that he would most likely get a lot of shouting at for not telling his omega, but it was for the best, right?

"M-Mark... Why...?"

"It's for the best, Jack, you know that..."

"... B-But... All I wanted was children, Mark, all I wanted..."

"Please don't tell me we are having this conversation again, for the love of god you know now would be a very bad time for that, we aren't even entirely safe half of the time..."

"I know, Alpha, I'm sorry I just-"

"I know omega, it is fine..."

And he rolled over to lay down on his back, allowing his omega to lay on his chest and slowly fall asleep, waking him up as soon as he could get his knot free, it was a strange new feeling to him, one that wanted to see his pups to make sure they were safe.

"C'mon Jack, we can get cleaned up and then go find Nate, yeah?"

He nodded enthusiastically in response, he had wanted to see his daughters too, and he liked the fact that his alpha was thinking about them, it was almost sweet, until he whined and curled up when Mark pulled out of him, his still slightly swelled knot pulling against his sensitive insides and Mark shushed him softly, standing up and heaving the smaller omega into his arms, ignoring how he felt lighter than he used to be.

"Let's get you cleaned up..."

And then he was running the bath in the private bathroom, trying to be quiet as he still knew many others in nearby rooms would be asleep and placing his omega in the warm water, soon joining him, but his head was killing him and he had no idea why, but he brushed it off in favour of being able to care for his omega instead, that was more important to him than a migraine was at that moment.

Jack seemed to be so tired, so he only spoke in a low, quiet voice, making sure to speak slowly and correctly annunciate so that Jack would hear him clearly even when he was half asleep, and slowly washed his omega's hair, where the green was gone and replaced with what appeared to be the natural brown colour, which he almost loved more than the green in it.

Almost.

But it was a welcome change to the alpha, running his fingers through the soft hair and massaging his scalp with shampoo after he had wet his hair, using soothing, continuous motions that tried to lull him to sleep, until he would fall back against his alpha's chest and sit still, silently blushing and trying to ignore the fact he had just fallen asleep, btu Mark didn't mind, as long as he could take good care of his omega, their bond felt stronger than it had been in the past, he had sort of a sixth sense to Jack's needs as well as his own, knowing he wold need to get something for his headache before Jack picked up on it and got worried, and he needed to have his omega fed too, but he decided that could wait until later, his pups would need to be fed too, his alpha adored the fact that he could defend and care for all of his little family, it was the one thing a part of him had always longed to be able to do.

He eventually washed out his hair and threaded conditioner through it too, doing his own hair before finding the soap without even taking his eyes off of his omega and smiling down at him, slowly washing his back with rhythmic motions from where he was sat behind the omega, eventually moving to his shoulders and legs and then asking him to turn around, which he did sleepily, but the moment Mark's hands made contact with his sides, just above his hips, he cried out, pushing him off.

"Sorry... I'm sorry, just, please... Don't touch my sides..."

And so he held his thin shoulders instead, looking him over with his eyes and seeing nothing wrong, perhaps it was something internal rather than it being inherently obvious.

"What's wrong, omega~"

The soothing rumbling purr seemed to soothe him just how he had wanted it to, waiting patiently for a response from his small, beautiful Irish omega, and what he said broke his heart, hugging him close.

"The... The stretch marks, I hate them so much, I look disgusting..."

He motioned to both of his sides, were thin red lines spread between where his hips were and his ribs, but Mark was distraught, or at least, his alpha was, how could he think that was disgusting...?

"No, god no omega, there is nothing wrong with them, only showing how good of an omega you are, how many of our pups you can carry, they're a good thing angel, I see them and I see nothing wrong with them, many omegas have them, it's just a fact, and I think they're sort of cute, just like the rest of you..."

And he ran his hands down his omega's sides, then leaning down to kiss both of his sides as Jack giggled, shuffling at the touch and finally smiling, god his smile was so amazing, just like the rest of him...

"Oh, are you ticklish omega?~"


	11. Demons In Your Head

"No, Mark no!"

It would have been a strange sight to stumble across, what was going on in that bathroom, laughter filling the air with a sort of carefree nature and two very much fully grown men tussling in a bathtub, it appeared that even when caught in times like this, where you feel closer to a lacewing caught in a spider's web and waiting your untimely death, that the bright, warm feeling of togetherness still finds a way through, it can bring people closer than ever, being in a place where reliance isn't weak, it's sort for...

Even when they had been taken from their home for fear of their own safety, they could still act like the lovesick teenagers they were when they met, it was adorably sickening in a way, too sweet to deal with so late into the night.

Of course, Jack couldn't deal with Mark's fingers, which were skittering and fluttering across his sides, over his ribs and up, making his voice somehow reach an even higher octave as Mark brushed his underarms too.

"MAHHRK! STAAAAHP!"

"How did I never work out you were this ticklish Jackaboy?"

He couldn't reply over his own dangerous giggling, he barely even caught a chance to breathe before Mark was bearing down on him mercilessly, again and again, it was too much and his small body was almost vibrating as he uselessly thrashed in a sad attempt of escape from Mark's clutches.

"Are you even trying to get away? I don't think you are, does my little leprechaun want more tickles...?!"

"NO! STAHP IT YOU DEMON!"

"I think you want more tickles~"

And then Mark's hands started periodically digging into him before releasing and continuing to ghost over his skin in the itchiest little way, before sporadically digging back in for more, and Jack was helpless to let him continue toying with him like a hyperactive four-year-old, but that was how he loved to be, he was a child on the inside sometimes, and he had no regrets in that aspect.

"Who were you calling a demon again?"

"Y-YOU! AHAHAHA I CAN'T DO THIS AHH STAHAHAP!"

"Oh my god, do you have a ticklish bellybutton?"

"NO MARK NO!"

Of course, that meant that Mark had found a new tickle spot, and he was going to savour it, brushing his face and more importantly stubble against Jack's sensitive navel and listening as he broke down in more violent peels of laughter, squirming beneath him and laughing more than he ever remembered doing, his face flushed a glowing red and yet he had the widest, most adorable smile the alpha had ever seen, he would do anything to elicit that reaction again, so this time he softly bit at the skin instead, allowing his tongue to poke out and prod at his delicate little omega as he fought between trying to curl up and making an attempt to escape.

It was a losing battle.

"MAHAHAHAHARK! STAHP IT!"

Of course, he had no plans of doing that, until Jack started crying, no longer trying to playfully resist and bringing his hands up to his face to hide his tears, which ran off of his face and into the bathwater and his face was already red in the first place, slowly bringing his breathing back in check only for it to run from him again as he started hyperventilating and Mark quickly scrambled off of him and sat him upright, trying to calm him down and watching helplessly as his mate's small chest constricted.

Of course, Jack didn't care for their tickle fight anymore, he felt like he was choking even when Mark had brought him back upright like his own tears were filling his lungs as he fought to breathe, trying to listen to Mark's frantic bark, and then listening as he quickly softened his voice and tried to slow down, but it was no use, he couldn't hear over the static filling his head and his own rapid breathing.

But then it all cleared and he looked up into Mark's eyes and saw the classic silver spiderwebbed with black and tried to calm himself, Mark was using his own alpha control over him to force him to focus as he broke down again, but this time, he wasn't heaving and struggling, just softly sobbing instead, but Mark wasn't sure which made him more afraid.

"Jack? Are you okay!? Talk to me, please..."

"Oh... No! N-no... God, not again!"

"Jack, please, what happened?"

He didn't look at him.

"Can't you feel that..."

A pause, and then...

"Oh..."

And then they were rushing out of the bath, barely even caring as they dried off and thew the same clothes back on even over their wet skin, they did not care as they were both in a terrified haze, they knew what their other halves were telling them, their alpha and omega, and yet they refused to believe it, hair still dripping and not giving a flying fuck how they looked in that moment, they rushed out of the room, out of where their pack lived and through all of the corridors until Mark came to a stop, panting and heaving and Jack wasn't far behind him.

"Where is he? Where's Nate!?"

"Omega, calm, please, I think I know where he'll be..."

And they continued their frantic running and not even caring who they shoved out of the way on their race through the narrow rooms until finally, Jack's senses picked up on the breeze, draft, and the fresher smell, they were near the outside, and Mark threw open a door and Jack hated the look in his eyes as he looked through the door, wind coming through stronger, but his eyes... They were so pained and hurt, what had he even seen?

Jack didn't want to think about it.

But then he was following suit, and a part of him seemed to die when he saw the scene outside, he never wanted to have to see something like that happen to anyone, nevermind to his own daughter...

The blood smearing across the tarmac of a small, narrow road was all he would have needed to see to know exactly what had happened, red painted in tire marks and tracked down the road a little while down until it stopped at a massive truck...

But his daughter...

It was too much to take in at once, and of course, the mates split, Jack rushing over to his daughter at the side of the road and Mark towards Nate and Adelaide, who was curled up and shivering in his lap as he sat crossed legged on the floor outside, not caring of the rain pouring down on him and soaking him through.

Jack's omega was the one to react to what he saw, making this horrible, desperate banshee cry, it was almost a screech it was so loud, and painfully profound in the worst possible way as he fell to his knees helplessly, leaning forward and taking his small daughter into his arms, she looked even smaller than ever like this, in a small little heap at the side of the road, all her neat little clothes he had dressed her up in earlier in the day were torn up and bloodied, as if she had been mauled by a monster, and her tidy braid was messy and caked in dirt now, he didn't want to see this...

Her clothes and hair gently fluttered in the wind, and yet most of her hair was plastered to her small body, made stiff with drying blood, and asphalt and grit pressed into her delicate skin... Why did it have to be Amora?

But then he had a thought that made him want to vomit...

...

...Why couldn't it have been Adelaide...!?

...

What was wrong with him?! Why the fuck would he even think that...?

But then he looked over to his oldest daughter and then back at the smaller one who looked like she was curled in on herself, where he had tried to settle her in his lap, not caring if he got all sorts of stains on his clothes at that point, she was more important than a pair of jeans... His omega was, understandably, distraught but some sick part of him wanted to swap it... Amora was the one he was more proud of, she was the one who looked more like Mark, more like his alpha, why couldn't she have been the one to survive?!

And then there was Mark, sitting down next to the rain-soaked Nate, not even caring the ground was saturated and instead focusing all of his attention onto the still alpha, trying to coax him to look up, but he would do nothing but hang his head, and Adelaide saw her chance to move onto someone who was much dryer and crawled over to Mark instead, hugging his middle and shivering as he automatically placed an arm of his own around her.

"Nate, look at me..."

But the dark eyes fastened steadfast on a clump of water-soaked grass in front of him instead, not daring to look the pack's alpha in the eyes anymore, knowing what he would find there.

Anger.

Pain.

Resentment.

But then he was forced to do just that and look up, his eyes burning as he obeyed the order he was given, it appeared Mark had not forgotten how to use his alpha voice when he had to, his silvery black eyes glittering, piercing into Nate's soul in a way he did not like at all, what was Mark even going to do now?

What was going to happen to him...?

And then his eyes caught Jack, crumbled down at the other side of the massive road and almost out of earshot, but he could hear his gentle sobbing, and see his dead daughter in his lap, lifeless and empty, no matter how much the omega cried...

How could he have been so stupid?

And then he almost threw a fit when he realised he no longer had possession of Adelaide, soon settling when he saw her in his alpha's lap instead, snuggled up there where it was much more dry and he slowed his breathing, still refusing to make eye contact when possible, to try and avoid Mark completely.

Did even she, a little girl, see him for the monster he was?

"Nate... I have a good feeling I know what happened, but... What really did happen?"

He didn't deserve a chance to explain himself, so why was Mark giving him one?

Because he doesn't want to believe what he's seeing~

"I... I took them to...playrooms, but they were in one of the other buildings..."

Ah yes, to get to them he would have had to lead them across this dangerous road to make it to the other buildings, the rooms they were in were merely sleeping and living quarters, all of the training fields and children rooms were in other building, which meant you had to go outside and cross the road before making it there...

"We were on our way back, and I held their hands... I swear I did... But Amora's hand slipped away from me and it was dark and I couldn't see her until it was too late! I couldn't run after her and leave Adelaide so I tried to rush with her too, but I was too fucking slow... Of course a stupid truck had to come by right then..."

You didn't say sorry~

"Oh, and I am so so sorry alpha, this is all my fault! I shouldn't have tried to cross that road with both of them... It's too dangerous, but I was so fucking stupid and I don't even think sorry cuts it anymore, but I am so, so sorry..."

And Mark sighed, pulling his daughter closer and looking at Nate with this tired sort of mile-frown, and it was a half-hearted attempt at cheering him up, but he couldn't force a smile right now.

"Nate, get back inside before you freeze to death..."

"But, what about Jack and what I've done and-!"

"Go on, I can deal with Jack right now..."

And he was stumbling back to the living quarters and Mark finally saw Jack, feeling his heart break when he saw him, to think, just a short while ago, they had been laughing and in the middle of a tickle fight, and now...

He sighed, shaking his head to get rid of the circulating, teasing thoughts out of his head, the demons that would never leave him alone...

This is all your fault~

You're stupid for letting this happen~

You never should have come back to Jack, as soon as you see him again and you get one of his children killed, you useless alpha, some protector you are~

Because we all have demons in our head, whispering or shouting, and even if you try to block them out, they will always be waiting for you...~

"Oh omega..."

"Don't 'oh omega' me! I give up with this shit, I thought we were supposed to be safe here!? I give up! I can't do this anymore! I can't lose someone else! I don't want any more pups... You can get the fuck away from me!"

He was pointing at Adelaide, who was making an attempt to crawl into his lap from Mark's.

"M-Mommy?"

"I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, YOU HELLSPAWN!"

And she was crying, but still stumbling over to him and settling into his lap, hugging his waist in a surprisingly powerful grip for such a young girl...

"Mommy, you're my mommy, and he's my daddy... What's wrong with Am-mora?"

He shoved the little girl off of him with all his strength, not caring when she fell as started crying more because she cut the side of her face and it was bleeding a little bit, but it broke her alpha's heart when she rushed over to him instead of Jack, he was her omega... He was supposed to care, wasn't he?

He managed to shush her while he talked though, and the pain in her small face seemed to lessen in a few minutes...

"Jack what... What the fuck?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK! HAVE YOU SEEN OUR DAUGHTER!?"

He turned to face Mark fully, showing him their tiny little daughter in his lap, not moving at all and not even breathing...

"She wasn't supposed to be the one to die! It was meant to be the other one!"

And he turned his burning glare on his daughter, who winced back and curled further into Mark's cape at the look her mommy gave her as Mark covered her ears with his hands, allowing his alpha voice to take the reins instead of himself, maybe then he could make the stupid omega see some sense.

"You realise you are saying that in front of your other, living daughter!? There is no point being bitter like that, don't wish death upon our other daughter, she is worth just as much as Amora was!"

"No, she isn't, not to me and not to my omega! The one who was most important was the one who looked most like her alpha, and Amora looked exactly like you! And she was younger, you could have spent more of her childhood with her too! You could have seen her start to speak, unlike Adelaide who already fucking started too early!"

"This isn't about me, this is about our daughters, they are worth just as much as each other to me, what happened to being equal?!"

And Mark finally gave up, storming away and letting Jack do whatever the fuck, he didn't care anymore!

He was done!

And then someone else had come up to Jack, saying the would bury her in their graveyard, and he numbly just let them take her little body, turning back to the same place Mark and Nate went, the living quarters, and let his alpha's scent lead him back to their rooms...

He wanted to be able to see his daughter and mate, sleep in a bed with the pair of them as a little familt, in his alpha's arms and holding his baby close, but that was only his omega messing with his mind as he pushed it away instead, he didn'y want to deal with it and so it was ignored instead, which he was fine with, it only seemed to mislead him now anways, so why the hell should he ever listen to it?

 

He snuck in and found an empty room, cleaning up and drifting off to sleep...

But then he was waking up when he felt a hand pry one of his hands open from it's fist and let a tiny hand settle on his palm, a small, quiet and happy coo and he was naturally raising his arms to take his daughter, and when she was given over, he brought her under the bedsheets, and cradled her close to his stomach with his arms around her, and then he finally opened his eyes, but they were the startling light blue of his omega when he saw his alpha and smile before a frown took over and he looked down at his daughter cuddled into his side and winced at his alpha.

"I... I'm sorry, my human half can be so stupid, yes, I am hurt, but I wouldn't have abandoned my daughter like that..."

And he saw his alpha sigh, just smiling lightly when he watched the two of them.

"I know, he's just... In pain, he'll see sense eventually, I hope..."

"I'm not so sure, and... He isn't wrong, there is a part of me that is torn here, I don't want her, and yet she is our pup, I can't just abandon her...~"

And then he leant down under the sheets to his little daughter, nuzzling her with his nose for a little while before licking at her skin, in an effort to soothe her and because some very old instinct in him just wanted to sort of keep her clean, before he looked back up at his alpha who smiled at him. He was happy to find she had been properly cleaned too...

"You've washed her... You care about our pup...?"

"Of course I do, but there isn't much we can do between me and a slightly empty Nate, she needs her omega, we can't do as much for her, you know how the old roles used to go, the omega kept their pups happy and healthy while the alpha was the defender, keeping his family safe, but I can't even do that, apparently..."

He cooed to try and cheer him up, and it seemed to work for a moment before his face fell once again...

"Well, an alpha can look after pups on his own but it's... Difficult, worse because your omega hates her now, but he is still with you..."

"I know, I just... I don't know what to do for him anymore, what the fuck am I even supposed to do when he won't let me in?"

The omega cooed, reaching out an arm to his alpha and smiling when it was taken, interlacing their fingers and holding on, his other arm wrapped around his daughter's middle and smiling happily, this scene made some part of him satisfied, it was how he was supposed to be living, with their pup in his arms and his alpha stood by him, and there was so much love between them that he could barely contain it.

...

...

...

...

"He won't let me in..."


	12. Hell Of Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ⊱Creativity Is Intelligence Having Fun⊰
> 
> ⊱The Question That Sometimes Drives Me Hazy, Am I Or Are The Others Crazy?⊰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there may be some lyrics from Troye Sivan sprinkled throughout this chapter, because I am on a bit of a binge of his songs while writing this!

"He won't let me in..."

That was what his mind cleared to, Mark's voice, it reminded him of the nightmares he woke from to find he had never been able to remember Anti after, it made him afraid of his own mind, to know that he could forget something because of his own brain, how was that healthy?

Simple answer, it wasn't.

Who was he talking to? His heart was caught in his throat, he couldn't speak, choking on his own feelings, but something felt so wrong, he remembered... Everything now, but... What was in his throat?

Why couldn't he breathe?

And then he was coughing and hacking, trying to find a desperate way to breathe, but his throat was so itchy, what was wrong with him?

He could taste metal, and he was beginning to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen getting to his head, but it was a nice compliment to the fog slowly finding a way into his consciousness, like an encroaching mist, yet it was not friendly and he knew it.

But he was stuck and he couldn't fucking breathe.

Just breathe...

but why couldn't he breathe?

Help me breathe...

"He won't let me in..."

What's that supposed to mean...

Who is he talking to?

Where is he?

And Mark froze when he saw Jack's eyes become their usual denim blue as he shook his head and looked down angrily when he saw his daughter and moved to the other side of the bed from her, turning up his nose in disgust and throwing a flashing glare at Mark instead, not daring to look into her small, happy green eyes and locked onto Mark instead, trying to ignore the warmth in his stomach from the previous scene of snuggling their daughter to his belly protectively while his alpha watched over them smiling at the little scene, it had felt wonderful for a moment, until he had realised...

...

...He was still so weak...

"Why the fuck is she in my room!?"

Mark was quick to scoop her up before he had the chance to harm her, and he calmed slightly as she was finally taken away from him, the devil child, he had never hated someone so much as he did that stupid girl, she was supposed to be the one to die, not Amora!

It was so unfair, Amora had been the good girl, the one who was waiting for daddy before she said her first word, the one he was proud to display as the one of his litter who looked so much like his alpha, that was all his omega ever wanted, a pup to look just like his alpha to show him just how good he was at carrying Mark's genes, hell, it showed just how potent of an alpha Mark was, and he had been so, so proud... But that pride had turned, poisoned into hatred for the little girl who had never truly done anything wrong to him, all she had done was survived when her younger sister had walked into a road and gotten out of sight, it was known as an accident for a reason, because it was no one's fault, not really... But Jack, he needed to be able to pin the blame on someone else...

"M-mommy?"

She was ignored.

"And who were you even talking to?!"

And Mark winced from his voice, it was basically a demand, but of course, an omega's demand would not work on his own alpha, and it was a rather pathetic plea from then if anything, there was no compelling charm or fear as it would have if he was talking to a different pack mate, but no, it always had to be Mark...

"No one... No one..."

And then Adelaide looked up at him, pouting in confusion, she didn't understand Mark's deflection to try and avoid an argument, she didn't understand what he said or why he did it, of course, daddy had been talking to mommy, so why wasn't he telling the truth, she had always been told it was bad to lie, especially to mommy, so why...?

"Wha? daddy? You were talking to... Mommy?"

And that made his blue eyes shoot up, a sharp yet patient reprimand on his tongue for lying, there was no way he could have been talking to him, but he stopped himself, it wasn't his job to talk to her, he didn't even want her at all, so she was not his to take care of or teach as far as he was concerned, even if his omega half had strangely gone quiet, it had been shouting at him before, for abandoning his precious little pup, but it was now simply silent, as if it was trying to cower away from him, but he barely even seemed to notice the silence in his mind and continued to think, what the hell could she have even meant, and I mean, it would have explained why Mark was there and who he was talking to, so that was stupid and he had no reason to believe the stupid little girl, so he decided not to think into it any more than he had to, leaving it to the stupid lies of an immature little bitch.

"No, honey, please, let me talk to him, okay darling?"

He couldn't help it, why couldn't he control himself?

"No, don't you dare fucking call her that you heartless bastard! How dare you call her that?! No one ever deserves the honour of being called that anymore, Anti was your darling, don't use the name like he never meant anything to you!"

And then Mark was falling too.

"Nothing to me!? Of course, he meant more than that! Hell, he made up the other half of my heart! Do you think I could ever make Anti worth anything less than the world... He meant so much to me, I would have given you both the world if I had been given the chance and I am sure you are more than well aware of that!"

~Rather be spitting blood

Then have this silence fuck me up~

But then they were spitting up flowers instead, there were no more harsh words, but it was so much worse, every bitter word, insult and hatred, every drop of it watered the flowers in his lungs and let them grow, their roots embedded deep within his lungs and then he was coughing up flowers instead, bloody roses and snowdrops, filling the delicate hollows of his lungs with their velvet leaves and teasing him with their fleeting feather touches, a warning especially for him.

~Used to give each other the world, every bit 

Used to be the one you'd come to 

When it'd all go to shit~

Don't you feel special?~

There were flowers all over the bed, bloodied roses and bruised violets, dahlias, lilacs, all of them in heaped piles whenever he parted his lips, tumbling down like a feather-soft kiss, like a gentle summer breeze that he barely even noticed, Mark's flowers joining his own on the bed he had never seen before that day.

It was almost poetic, wasn't it?

But who would ever write their story?

And then, on top of it all, a beautiful dark reddish-black iris, most likely a near match for the bruising that he could feel in his throat and windpipe, the roses a beautiful shade for the blood dripping off of his swollen lips, or the choking blood pooling in his lungs, stinging like acid in the open wounds where the thick, twisting roots of the plants had been ripped out of him, open wounds from the rose stems tearing into him as words tear into people.

*That rhyme about sticks and stones as if broken bones hurt more than the names we got called and we got called them all. So we grew up believing that no one would ever fall in love with us.*

And then it was darkness, but he could still feel the pain in his lungs as the vines spread to his mind, strangling his thoughts before they could take flight, their fallen feathers fluttering down to the river of his mind and carried away before they can be saved, like a leaf in a stream. What was the point of thinking if you were only to kill the dove before it was a fledgeling, olive branches pile like caskets of bone and hearts broken like shattered glass, be careful where you tread...

"You know, fine, you win, why don't you always win, I tried to avoid an argument tonight, we can't be the petty teenagers we were before all of this, you learnt that much surely? We're in the middle of a war and you care about what I let slip this one time? Now I remember why I thought death was a better way out than having to stay with you!"

He turned and moved to the door with a powerful stride, just because he was the one retreating did not mean he wasn't the one in control, meddling with his emotions as if he was a science project to be tested and analysed as if he wanted to get as many reactions as he could.

"No! Please, alpha... I need you tonight..."

He froze for a moment, refusing to turn and even look at the omega, but when he did, Jack wished he had never faced his way, that look was so cold, soul protected through his eyes by a layer of icy cold frost, it couldn't be touched or broken through and the moment he saw that look, Jack knew he had no chance of convincing him that night.

"Then let your heat consume you."

He was gone, turned and slammed the door in his wake, and it brought him back to reality as he sank down into the bed and pulled at his hair desperately, as if he would wake up and it all be a dream, how he wished all of this mess had been a fever dream...

But then he realised, there were no flowers on the bed, how stupid would it have been for them to spit up flowers? 

Had he imagined it all? He must have, Mark seemed to not be concerned by it at all, so he must have not seen it and he had just saw something that had never really existed, it was all just a faked lie told by his own eyes and mind, pathetic really, he couldn't even trust his own senses not to lie to him anymore, it was all just a lie, there was never any flowers...

...

So why did his throat still hurt?

...

What happened to simplicity?

He was alone and he knew it, his friends had changed, his mate had changed, it seemed as if everyone else had matured and become hardened to all that happens, become level-headed and learnt how to be a real adult while he was still trying to work it all out and navigate like he was in the eye of a storm, in the middle of a hedge maze he was destined to die in.

But whoever said Mark had matured enough to deal with this?

He had shut himself into his own bedroom and sank down the door, sliding down and keeping a hold of their daughter now, he had to make sure she was safe because his omega had managed to give up on her, but he would never do that to his own family, his daughter made out of what had once been pure love and devotion.

And days passed, Mark and Nate thankful they were in different teams and sent out for training at separate times, so they could rotate between looking after Adelaide, and if there was ever a commander meeting, she was passed off to Felix, they had no idea how to tell the rest of their pack about Jack and their daughter, he never even came out of his room to eat or do anything, when was the last time he had spoken?

But he had to tell the pack, and so got a chance to gather them all together and explain why they could no longer get into the spare bedroom and attached bathroom.

"I know you all want to know what's going on in that bedroom, and rightfully so, there is a good reason but... I'm not sure you will all like the answer..."

"Oh come on Mark, we have probably heard worse..."

It was Dan, a soft chuckle in his voice as the others nodded, but they smiled to show their support, listening to him intently.

"That room... Jack's in that room..."

Before he could continue, he was cut off by Marzia.

"Jack's here? Wait... Why hasn't he come out of his room?"

Then Amy cut in too, her voice gently prying.

"Yeah, and it's always you or Nate or Felix looking after Adelaide, I wondered where she had come from actually, but he should be all over her with his protectiveness, so why do you three have her instead? Not that you shouldn't spend time with her too, I just thought it was strange... I'm sorry I-"

"Amy, calm, it's fine for you to ask and it is a good point, Jack's not... Great in his mental state right now, I think he had become slightly delusional, the other day we had had a small argument and... He started to look at me and the bed as if we had committed murder together...?"

"He needs to be able to mother his pup-"

"No, he doesn't even want to, he had another daughter after he had run away, Amora was her name, he had still been carrying her when he ran and she had only been small so we hadn't known... She... Was run over by one of the trucks on the small road separating the other rooms and the living spaces, he blames Adelaide for it..."

And then Tyler was finally the one to speak up for a change, a hint of sympathy in his usually passive voice.

"Oh, lord... What are we supposed to do to help him? You could ask him, as his alpha, to look after her for a day, couldn't you? Maybe he would have a chance to bond with her and see sense?"

"Yeah... We can do it today..."

They knew even if he was angry at her, she was his pack and he would not want to actively try to kill her so she would be safe just...

He found himself wandering into Jack's bedroom, or at least, he made it to the door before knocking politely, hoping to lure him from the room he had been holed up in for so long without coming out at all, he was beginning to get concerned for him, and rightfully so, he would barely even speak if you tried to start a conversation with him, as well as the fact that he would not open his door...

"Jack? O-omega? Are you there?"

There was silence for a few moments and he held his breath, what if he wasn't even in there?!

What if something had happened to him in there and he couldn't get in?!

What if he had escaped and ran away from him and all of them again!?

What if he was...

What if he'd commit suicide?

"What? What is it?"

He sighed softly, placing his head against the door, leaning against it, the cold was a welcome reprieve to his hot skin, pressing his forehead against it, not even knowing that Jack was doing the exact same on just the other side, the heat of their skin seeping through the wood and meeting in the middle, it was sort of sweet, actually.

"Will you let me in, please? I want to talk to you...?"

"Do you have... Her, with you?"

"No, please o-omega...? Can I speak to you...?"

And then there was a surprise, that even Jack had not expected himself to say, causing a brief pause.

"Only if you'll hold me..."

"Of course...?"

And then he leant back and onto his feet as the dark wooden door opened and he saw his poor little omega, his eyes were rimmed red from what seemed to be crying constantly, tear tracks dried on his face, leaving a glossy path in their wake, and his hands were shaking, especially his left arm, and it made his alpha frown.

"Is your arm... Okay?"

He looked down at it as if he had not realised it had was moving and he had been surprised by Mark's notice of it, as if he was used to people not seeing or even questioning it.

"Oh... I did something... A while ago? I don't remember what it was and sometimes when I'm... Stressed, I suppose, it sort of starts shaking again, there is no way I can stop it but no one has ever actually wanted to ask about it..."

And he pulled him into his arms, looking over his omega as he burrowed his small face into the alpha's neck, and he took a quick scan of the room with dark eyes, taking it all in and feeling more concern well in the pit of his stomach as he saw much of the room, the nest made messily in the bed with anything soft he seemed to be able to find, towels from the conjoined bathroom and everything, and then he saw a little blood on the bottom corner of the door to the bathroom, claw marks on the door leading out into the other rooms, and when he saw that Jack only had his sleeveless shirt, the claw marks up his arms and soon pushed away all other thoughts as he instead cradled Jack into his arms as he squeaked and quickly wrapped his arms around Mark's neck in order to be able to stay balanced and not fall from his arms, and then he brought him to the bed.

He pushed aside the nesting material so he could sit on the end of the bed, well, at least, he was going to move it, but the moment he had gone to push it away, there was a loud, desperate whine in response and Jack, tried to lean down to stop his hand from 'ruining' the little nest he had made.

"No! Please, don't move any of it, I had to keep remaking it over and over, making it all neat just to pull it all off and start over until it was good enough... Had to be perfect for you, for us... I have to be perfect..."

"Oh my dear sweet omega, you don't have to do that, you never have to be perfect for anyone, the most they can ask for is for you to be yourself, okay? Jack... Why is there blood on the door...?"

That made his omega freeze in his arms and look over to the bathroom door, where there was, in fact, a dried patch of crimson on the corner of the door that stood out stark against the wood and made his freeze.

"Oh no... Oh no oh no oh no oh no..."

"Jack, take off your clothes..."

"What? No, why?!"

Mark frowned at that, giving a small tug to his own collar to emphasise his point before leaning over to Jack and placing a warm hand over his bond mark.

"Don't develop a nervousness for this now mate, you are my omega and you know for a fact I have seen you much more naked than in your underwear, so drop the act and show me what's wrong..."

And he sighed in agreement, he had finally given up, slowly taking off his shirt and jeans as Mark soon crowded him, pressing him into the bed and soothing him with methodical licks to wherever he would be able to reach as his omega whined and playfully tried to push his face and head away.

He could see the self-harm marks clawing across the pale thighs, but they did not bother him, if he could make his mate feel better and like he didn't want to do that then it would all be okay, but he could see that Jack was covering where his stretch marks were, and it would not have bothered him if it were not for the fact that there was gauze and binding wrapped around his omega's middle, covering that place between his hips and ribcage, and he coaxed Jack's hands away and saw the blood coming through both sides of the gauze and went to unwrap it, seeing the wince and pain in those blue eyes as he did that, but there was no protest as he began to unwrap it and on every layer, there was even more blood soaking through.

He finally managed to get through it all, and what he saw and what he could smell made him want to vomit, where his stretch marks had been ripped away, all of the skin had been cut out messily, his skin was carved away and you could see Jack's muscles that should have been below his skin, as well as parts of his rib bones, a four inch by four inch square, was roughly cut out and there was no skin left, making sure to cover all of the stretch marks...

It was disgusting, only a thin layer of flesh was covering his ribs and making them stand out against the rest of his darker flesh.

"Oh omega, why would you do this to yourself, you must be in so much pain, and you don't even have any pain medication, oh, can you use your element or...?"

"No alpha, I could never work out how to use it like that..."

"Oh my dear sweet little omega, how are you still okay from all of this? You are missing chunks of your skin and you're still bleeding a lot, I'm surprised you haven't fainted yet... Oh why were you so stupid?"

And then Jack was looking away from him and avoiding any form of eye contact.

"Where is she?" 

He knew exactly who his omega was talking about...

"With Nate and Felix right now... Why? You know what, nevermind, that really isn't that important right now, we need to get you fixed up-

-I hope you're ready for a hell of pain..."


	13. Ignore Me

"Ow! What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Shhh, you're the one who carved out your skin, you wouldn't be in pain otherwise, but... Why did you even do this?"

He was pressing against the open wounds and making sure nothing was infected, and thankfully, everything looked okay, other than the fact he was missing two massive chunks of his skin, that was...

"I... Anti... They removed his scar tissue and it grew back fine, and I hate having my stretch marks so much so..."

"Oh Jack, it doesn't work quite like that, that was surgery, this is very different... Even if it did work like that, if we ever had children again you would just end up with stretch marks again, it's totally natural, you don't have anything to be worried about with them and I hope you know that...~"

"They make me look disgusting..."

"They make you look beautiful..."

Before he could reply with a comeback, he whimpered instead, tensing up and trying not to scream as Mark did whatever the fuck he was doing to him and he almost wanted to growl at his soothing shush sound, he wasn't the one in pain, was he!?

Of course, Mark was trying to do whatever he could to help heal him, because he knew from past experience that Jack would probably rather die from this than let a doctor see what he had done to himself and so he used his element instead, knowing how much stronger it was than it had been in the past, trying to relieve some of the pain while the darkness seeped into his mate's skin in an attempt to make his skin grow back and reform, though it was draining as Mark had never really been trained as much of a healer, instead he had to use his own sheer power and will to hope he could fix it...

Of course, when he started that, Jack genuinely started screaming, it was way too much pain for his small body to handle and he was shivering and crying, tears rolling down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to will the pain away, wishing it was just that simple and that he had never let Mark see what he had done to himself, but then...

The pain was suddenly lifted, and he felt better than he had before, stretching slightly as he heard Mark panting, looking up at him through watery eyes to see him sweating, even if the room was freezing cold, and so he lifted himself up on shaky arms, body still being wracked by the pain from earlier, and shuffled over, softly nudging at Mark with his nose and whining for a reply...

"Mark...?"

"I-I'm fine... Just... That took a lot of... E-energy..."

"I'll be right back, alpha..."

And then he was scrambling from the bed and throwing on his shirt and jeans again, looking at his sides in wonder for a moment as it finally sunk in that Mark had managed to heal his skin without the stretch marks, but then he was dashing out of the room and shutting the door behind him, not wanting anyone to have to see his alpha when he was so tired, and so instead navigated his way to the kitchen to find something to replenish Mark's energy somewhat, hunting through the cupboards and freezing when he heard two sets of footsteps coming towards him, one heavier and the other extremely light, turning around just in time to see Nate and Adelaide walk into the kitchen, though he saw the pair of them tense at the sight of him and he inwardly sighed, trying his best to smile before turning around and continuing to hunt through the cupboards, soon finding bottled water and taking one of those from the fridge as Nate finally decided to speak.

"What are you looking for?"

"Food, do you have any sweet things?"

"Why do you want sweet things like, right now?"

He didn't really think about his answer, too intent on looking after his alpha after he had managed to look after him and keep him safe, he wanted to be able to return the favour, in an omega sort of way...

"Mark, I... It's my fault I exhausted him because I was stupid and... I Hurt myself, severely... I think he knew that I wouldn't see a doctor over it so he used his own element to heal it instead... Now he's fucking exhausted because of me..."

But then Nate stopped him and he realised just how much he had revealed and cursed himself for not thinking before speaking...

"Wait, it would take a lot to... Exhaust Mark's power, what the hell did you even do for that to happen?"

He lifted his shirt proudly, showing his now scar-free sides.

"I hated my stretch marks so I... I cut all of my flesh out from there, two massive squares out of my skin, so he had to make the skin grow back and without the stretch marks...~"

He became slightly dreamy over talking about his alpha, but he did manage to catch the unbridled surprise from Nate.

"What!? Even a healer can't do that, it just isn't possible for him to make your skin grow back so fast, it doesn't make any sense..."

"Why don't you ask him what he did then? Because it sure as hell worked, and... You never actually answered me if there was anything I could feed him?"

He was trying not to pay attention to the girl at Nate's feet and so blocked her out of the conversation instead, and Nate seemed to notice that but didn't comment and left it for now, not in front of Adelaide, he didn't want to have to fight at all, but he knew that something needed to be doen to show Jack just what he was missing out on, how did he not understand that he had loved her so much and now he was suddenly abandoning his own daughter!

"Okay, well, here...-"

He dug into one of the cupboards under the counter and pulling out cookies, Jack's favourite, but he knew that they weren't his to eat, even if he was starving after not eating for days and days, and he tried to show Nate he wanted to be able to be with his alpha for now, he needed to be alone with him and feel like he wasn't being judged by someone else while he was there with him in his safe place.

He was pathetic, wasn't he?

Most likely.

And then he was wandering off back down the hallway with cookies and a bottle of water, nudging at Mark as he smiled at him tiredly, stretching out as Jack sat cross-legged next to him and gently pushed the opened water bottle against his alpha's lips until they parted for him and he watched, almost slightly entranced, as he watched Mark's Adam's apple bob up and down every time he swallowed.

And then he was twisting the cap back on in one smooth movement and then he was trying to feed Mark too, but that was where he put his foot down, he may have been tired but he did not need to be babied, and he was thankful for Jack being considerate, but he pushed him away softly, and then immediately regretted it as he saw Jack's careful, delicate little smile fade, and his face dropped down, eyes going all dark and sad and Mark immediately felt bad, knowing that maybe Jack just had to do this so he could feel that he had managed to repay him for healing him, and so he took Jack's wrist as he was about to stand up and then he was bringing that arm back up, guiding Jack and finally letting the hand go when it was pressing the cookie against his lips as he bit down softly, letting Jack feed him as he had seen how sad he had made Jack and wanted to be able to correct that as soon as possible, he hated to see Jack hurt and he never wanted to hear his sad laughter again either, yes, they had a lot of bad memories from their shared past, but was that supposed to mean they weren't to be together?

Life isn't all rainbows and sunshines after all, is it?

He swallowed and gave Jack and gentle smile, eating the rest of the cookie before swatting away the hand after he had finished the one cookie, he felt a little sick and didn't want to have to eat any more, but this time, Jack seemed to feel better as he smiled at him gently and then stood up, allowing Mark to take his arm so he could pull him up.

He was really a sweet omega, and it only made Mark's heart hurt even more than it had in the past, to know that he had left him behind and couldn't even take him back when he knew where Jack was living and he knew how hopeless and sad his little omega was, having to look after both of their children alone for so long, but he was here now, wasn't he?

It was only worse because he knew that Jack would never let him be able to take all of the blame, he wasn't that sort of person...

And then he allowed Jack to drag him to the bed, his nest as the omega liked to call it, and then he was being pushed down onto it and Jack was curling up on his chest in the middle of the nest before he even had a chance to move at all, but he was more or less comfortable and he loved to be so close to his omega and because of that, he didn't complain and simply let his omega snuggle him, but it appeared that that hadn't been enough as Jack softly lifted his arm and tried to wrap it over his smaller body pathetically, whimpering a soft, wolfish sound.

"Cuddles, give me cuddles...?~"

And so he wrapped his arms around Jack's small body and then pulled him close, nosing into the smaller man's scruff and breathing in his scent, nosing against the nape of his neck and feeling a hint of satisfaction when Jack went slack against him the second he felt Mark's teeth nearing his nape, and then there was a kiss pressed against his neck instead, pressed down his shoulder playfully, and he squirmed when he felt a warm tongue poke out and taste his skin curiously, messing with Mark and playfully trying to push his alpha's head away with his arms, but f course, he was nowhere near as strong as Mark and could do very little against the methodical licks, not that he actually wanted to stop them, that was...

He wasn't actually that resistant to the licking and just sort of accepted it after a few moments, he knew he couldn't escape from his alpha's clutches and so giggled and squirmed instead, trying to shake him off playfully and whining softly, trying to make him feel bad, but he knew that was not going to work when he pouted and simply saw Mark's grin instead, and there was no hint of remorse.

"Don't get all pouty with me, and do you really want to tempt me to tickle you again...?~"

And then he went silent for a moment.

"N-no... You can lick me, alpha, I don't want to be t-tickled! MARK-"

Of course, Mark had decided that was enough and so reached around the smaller of the two of them, holding his thin waist in a tight grip between his arms so he couldn't escape as he dug his hands into Jack's sides and slowly moved to pin him from where they were laid together, making sure to carry on tickling him even when Jack tried to buck him off and begged for him to stop, tears in his eyes, face flushed a healthy shade of red, he was glowing, and smile stretched wide over his small face, matching Mark's.

There were so happy in that moment, cheesy grins plastered to their faces and smiling at one another, not a care in the world as the rest of the universe seemed to just be able to drift away from them, thoughts evaporating and covering their minds in a thick fog, a happy haze keeping them warm and happy and ignorant to everything else around them other than eachother, it was a beautiful moment.

All beautiful things must die.

But then Mark stopped, well, he didn't just stop, Jack felt him freeze against his back and made a soft sound of confusion, wanting to know what had happened to make him stiffen up so suddenly and want to stop it so that his mate would continue his impromptu sort of tongue-bath, but that didn't happen, did it?

"What the fuck...?"

He wasn't angry, that was the only relief Jack could take from that single sentence that seemed to make his own skin turn to ice, red blue bleeding blue and fearful.

"Why do you have this?"

And then he was picking Jack up as if he weighed nothing, and Jack had to admit that he loved it when Mark showed how strong he was, he loved it so much and maybe part of it was because he was an omega and he was supposed to be protected by his alpha, and Mark could prove that he was strong enough to keep him safe, so the omega half of his biology loved it so much, and maybe he admired it because he himself did not have that sort of strength, but it was so...

Mark...

It was so Mark.

Of course, he was broken and forcibly pulled from his thoughts when he saw the mirror in front of him, wanting to be able to look at his scarless skin again but knowing that Mark was trying to do something that seemed important and even then, he had a shirt on that would only make that more difficult, so he left the thought alone instead.

"Look at it, this isn't your and you know it, they aren't even teeth marks as if it has been bitten into your own skin, no, it is so much more complicated, only a mark, as if it was just a discolouration of your skin, and yet... Just look at it and tell me what you think, yeah?"

And then he saw it, it looked sort of like a very pale bond mark, and yet it was on the wrong side of his neck, it was on his left side, that wasn't where his bond mark was, and just to reaffirm that thought, he had made a double check to the other side to see that he indeed did still have his original bond mark, and yet the one on his other side looked so familiar, but he still didn't understand what about it specifically was making Mark so worked up, it was almost a little blurry or distorted, he wouldn't be able to make it out as a certain person's bond mark when it was slightly distorted in a strange sort of way like that, as if it was an old picture or his vision was swimming, but neither of those things was right...

"It looks like a... Bond mark? I think anyway, but I don't actually think any of this gives me and form of familiarity, do you recognise something that I don-"

"Anti! It's Anti's bond mark, look at yours and then at his, where my teeth are is reflected on both sides of your neck, but I can tell because it is in the exact same place as his was, I left your marks on the other sides of your neck for a reason...-"

He looked in closer, making Jack shiver when his breath ghosted over his pale skin adoringly in a strange and yet pleasant way.

"-It obviously was not bitten into your neck and so it isn't yours, and what I don't understand is why you have it and it is so pale that I had never even realised it before, you'd almost have to be looking for it and the change of light could have made it entirely invisible in the wrong place... I just don't understand how on earth you got it, Anti... Well, I think we both know what happened to him, don't we?"

He chuckled bitterly.

"My own teeth marks would fit there perfectly, it doesn't make any sense! Wait... Look at me, look at me right now!"

And his neck snapped up at the alpha voice, the command hidden in his words and he saw himself reflected in the silver eyes, spiderwebbed with a dazzling black colour that could remind you of a black widow on the hunt.

But Mark, he was seeing something so different in his eyes, he didn't understand it and yet he did at the same time, the omega within Jack had been strangely reactive, almost as if it was it's own sort of person in his head, disagreeing with him and coming to life as it's own being when it seemed to take over Jack's body, the omega within him had been... Mixed with... Someone they thought they had lost...

"Omega, come here, omega, please, I need you...?"

And then Jack was being pushed away as the omega half rose within him when it felt it was being called by his mate, and the dark blue eyes glowed a bright summer sky blue, a baby blue colour that he loved just as much as the navy colour of Jack's normal eyes, but there was something else within them now, that Mark knew for a fact had not been in there before as the left eyes was a more teal colour than it had been, different in a slight way to the right eyes, which appeared to be even brighter than usual.

...

What was he supposed to do?

...

"Anti?"


	14. Come Back To Me

"M-Mark~..."

And then he was being forcibly barreled back into the bed and snuggled to death by what some would be able to call a different omega if you saw it that way, but of course, it was always going to be the same body and so he found it sort of strange, and yet, his instincts and his alpha managed to help, recognising the difference in his mates with ease, he could smell a very slight difference and the eyes had a hint of a different colour in them, the other bond mark glowing brighter and a fresher red now than it had been with Jack just a few moments ago, it would have been strange to anyone else, but it seemed that their little patchwork pack had come to expect the unexpected.

Maybe that was a good thing.

Maybe not.

But who even cares anymore?

He had Anti back, that's all that matters right now, so he pushes the other thoughts away and wraps his arms around Anti in a movement that was welcome and familiar, in fact, he had missed Anti more than he had ever realised.

And then things...

Escalated...

And then Anti was sat on top of him, where he was on his back on the bed but he wanted to have more and Mark didn't, Mark wanted to be able to lay there with him while they were together and Anti wanted them to be one, wanted to be able to get even closer and he wanted to show Mark that, too nervous to outright ask.

He was already straddling Mark's waist, and he thought that Mark would want it too, they were supposed to be mates, after all, so he leant down to carefully rub against Mark's neck, displaying his bond mark to show his alpha that they were still mated and that he wanted to... Well, he thought Mark would know what he wanted to happen, but that was not exactly how it happens, as he whined and moved a little, trying to make Mark understand without the words, but he seemed more than eager to ignore what Anti was asking for and just hold him close instead, but Anti didn't know if he was ever going to be able to see his mate again like this, and so he wanted to be able to confirm he was actually loved before he had to go, because he knew he couldn't just take over Jack's body forever...

Got he wished he could.

But that would be selfish.

Mark would get mad at him, he didn't want that...

"Mate, please, you know what I want so why can't I have it...?~"

He purred softly, a whine catching in his throat as he begged, voice almost slightly muffled against Mark's chest, but his alpha still heard him and let a soft growl hum in his throat, deep and rumbling.

"Omega no, I don't know if I'll ever have a chance to bring you back and I don't want to spend this precious time now just fucking you..."

"But that would show me you love me! You know I've missed you just as much as you have missed me, I want to be able to let you make love to me in case I don't get to see you again, I love you and I want to be able to show that-"

"You know you don't have to have sex with me to show that we love each other, right? Or is that really how bad of a mate I was to you? To make you think that the only way I could show I loved you was when I was having sex with you...?"

He sounded hurt, and so the omega wanted to be able to correct that as soon as possible, he didn't like making his alpha upset and this was the worst time to do it, they were peaceful and finally had a chance to be with one another and there he was messing all of it up all over again, he only seemed to be able to mess it all up didn't he?

God, why did he always have to be so stupid?!

He hated himself more than he thought he had, but that was okay, as long as Mark didn't find out about his self-hatred he would never have to tell him and it would all be okay...

Right?

"Please Mark, I know you were a good mate and showed me you loved me all the time, but I just wanted to be able to be with you in case we never get another chance, I'm dead, you know that just as well as I do and I want to... I want to be able to be with you at least one final time... Please Mark, I'm begging you...?"

"Wait... Anti... How are you even here? None of this makes any real sense and you know it, do you even know yourself, it only makes the fact that you and Jack seemed to once be so eerily similar even stranger, something about this whole situation is strange and I want to know how we all ended up like this..."

"I know that... My soul, it attached to Jack's when I died and he ran away from all of it but I had no idea that I was going to end up being mixed in his mind with his omega like that, it was sort of strange and uncomfortable at first, but I've sort of become a bit of his internal voice, but I wish I could be alive so I could really be there for him, I can see in his mind and he is so broken and doesn't even seem to know it, I'm heartbroken about it, he hates his own daughter who he had loved so much in the past..."

And then he was crying, hearing loud sobs that it took him a moment to realise that it was him making that damn sound, the one that he never wanted Mark to have to hear, but of course, he had to fuck it up over and over, and now Mark was forced to watch him crying, sitting up so Anti was in his lap and then he was rocking the omega back and forth in his arms in an attempt to soothe or comfort of whatever he could even do in that moment to make any of it better, he needed to make it better!

But what if there was nothing he could even do to make all of this better?

He would still try.

But then Anti was already gone before he could do anything else, and Jack was the one crying now, but he had no idea why there was just a sort of uncontrollable wave of sadness that made him continue to cry when he never even remembered starting it at all.

"Oh, Anti...~"

It was obviously not meant for him, but he still perked up at the very familiar name, looking up at Mark, and he now realised he was neatly settled into his alpha's lap, but he was confused and hurt.

"Mark? What the hell are you talking about?! I'm not Anti, and you know that... Right? You don't just want me because I look like Anti, do you...?"

"No, god no, Jack, that isn't what I think at all, it's really confusing for both of us right now and I don't know how to explain any of this because you obviously don't remember anything that just happened, do you?"

And then he was looking away, trying to think of whatever he had been doing mere moments ago, and yet he managed to come back even more confused and blank than he had been before he didn't understand, he didn't remember a thing, and how did he end up in Mark's lap crying...?

Why did Mark know he didn't remember?

"What the hell is happening!? Mark, why did you know that I have no idea what has happened and how I ended up in your lap crying, I don't understand and I don't like it, tell me what we were doing, because I know you have to remember!"

"Fine, but I know you will fucking hate me after this, but just remember that you asked about all of this, so you are going to have to deal with it, but I just don't understand how we had never worked all of it out sooner... Anti is somehow a part of you, he ended up merged with another part of you, your omega half..."

And then everything made sense.

"That's why my omega half has been much much more prominent recently...?"

He only managed a nod in response, he didn't want to have to explain to Jack all that they had just talked about, all about his and Jack's daughter, about how he should love because she is his daughter, or how they loved each other and wished he wasn't supposed to be dead, but there was nothing he could do about any of it now, he had not acted quick enough and now Anti was gone and Jack was back, but he loved them both, wanted to be able to have both of them at the same time, like before. Back then, he had never realised how lucky he was to have both of them by his side and they were never combined as one, now that was all he wanted, that, and for his small family and even his pack and friends to all be safe, never wanted to be stuck in this war, in the middle of a fight that wasn't even his.

But Anti's soul would have nowhere to go, and if Jack died, they would lose both of them forever...

He ignored all of it.

Ignore it.

He found it strange that Jack didn't really question it anymore, and he found himself wondering if Anti being a part of his mind had something to do with that...

He fell asleep quicker than he should have.

Something wasn't right.

Or maybe it was.

Because he had a chance now.

...

It had always been a strange feeling, waking up while still in a dream, somewhat of a disorientating feeling that he was more than happy to be able to shake off as he stood, he was in what appeared to be a field, though he had never seen the place before, and yet he did not even care to look at any of it when he saw Anti in the distance, he could smell him, his scent in the wind and he found himself racing after him, but then he disappeared as soon as he had shown up in the first place, and he was left all alone, now in a space of woodland he had never seen before, and he had tried to go back the way he came, but the further and longer he walked, the darker it seemed to get, until he could no longer even see his own hand in front of his face, it had felt like such a long time, and yet it would have only been somewthing akin to minutes if it were the real world, and he was more confused than he had ever been, and there was no one to explain it all to him and he hated that.

He just wanted to have some help.

And then it was all gone, the ground beneath his feet and everything else too, it was way too much as he felt like he was floating, and then his eyes opened and he was drowning.

He didn't understand any of it, but he just had a feeling he needed to do something, needed to be somewhere and it confused him so much, what was he even supposed to do?

So he tried to swim, and suddenly, none of it was so bad, the crashing waves settled into a gentle sway, showing him which way to go, the dark water now a clear and pale blue, showing he was in much shallower water than it had once been, in fact, his feet could almost touch the bottom if he tried his best, but he didn't dare to risk any of it, and so continued to try and swim to the shore that he was sure had never been there before, until he made it, and he was nearly surprised that everything didn't just change and he would be somewhere else.

He was left where he was, and now he was even more confused, it felt like he should have been transported somewhere else and he wasn't, maybe there was something special about this place? But what would it even be?

And so he was heaving himself up onto his own two feet and walking around on the surf, and it felt strange to be walking on land now as if he had been swimming for much longer than he thought, but that made no sense and so he ignored it, simply trying to find something that seemed out of place, or strange or even a little different, maybe it was something that he was supposed to find that was not even meant to be on a beach or on the island as a whole, or maybe he had to find something at the highest part of the island?

Why was he thinking of this as a video game?

Maybe it was one all inside of his head, could he even die there?

For some reason, he wanted to test that out, knowing he would just be able to jump off the cliff that he was following the edge of and this nightmare would be finished and done, or maybe he could have cut his neck open with sharp rocks, or even just let himself die when he was nearly drowning in the sea, and he silently cursed himself for actually getting out of that water and managing to save himself, and then he suddenly understood part of what he was supposed to do here, though he still had no idea what the endpoint was, he knew the objective.

Don't let his thoughts take over.

Don't become hopeless.

Don't commit suicide.

But why would he want even do that in the first place?

He found it was so much harder than he could have ever believed it to be in the first place because his mind started racing, he was going insane looking for something, he thought that he had to find something, but maybe, just maybe...

He had to find himself in his own head...

And then he was gone, the island was gone, all of it, but maybe he would see it again, maybe... Because, who's to say that just because something is in your head, that it is not real?

He didn't understand where he was now, but all he knew was the pain, could feel it in every ounce of his being, setting him alight with pure, unrestrained agony in a way which he would never wish on anything, a monster or not.

But then he wasn't alone, there were others with him, he couldn't see them, it was still pitch black, but now there was a floor, he was laid on it, curled up in a weak fetal position, whining feebly from the pain, but he was one of the quietest, many of the other voices drowned his own cries out, because others were screaming, begging, shouting for all of it to stop, but it never did, it seemed as if they were not even heard by each other, like they couldn't hear anyone else even if Mark could hear all of them.

He hated it.

The loud noise only added to the pain, he felt hungover, could hear a constant ringing that he couldn't shake out of his head and the screaming only added to the pain in his head, he couldn't think, and his own words seemed to drown in the waterfalls of all the screams and whines of the others, he was so small wherever he was, but he felt so lost even then, couldn't see a thing as he was curled up in a ball on the floor, and he decided to try and ignore the fact that he swore some of those shouts were eerily familiar in a way he never wanted to know them.

When he eventually gained the strength to look up, he wished he hadn't at all, not when he saw them all in the low light, they all looked so lonely even if there was so many of them, but now he understood, they couldn't see each other because they had no eyes, just empty sockets still painted red with fresh blood, and instead there were eyes all over the floor, as if they had all been ripped out, almost in piles, green eyes with blue and brown, all just in mixed piles in a way that would never be beautiful.

He soon realised he couldn't move out of his small square of space, it was as if there was a wall that wasn't visible was blocking his way out from it all, it was a massive cavern of a room, but it was so dark, only the light of sparsely and strategically placed torches managed to light the room at the barest light to be able to see now, but they looked to be deep underground, and of course, his first thoughts went to hell, it would explain all of the pain, and the strong scent of fear was making him dizzy.

Of course, in the sea of faces with no eyes and pain painted in every line and crease, he did see a few familiar faces, ones of which he wished to never have to see again, they couldn't hear because their ears had been torn at and shredded, until they were left with a faint idea of all what was happening around them, only able to hear from a close distance.

He saw Ken, his eyes missing like all the rest, on his knees and yet refusing to fall any further, all of his muscles tensing and untensing periodically, as if his pain was in waves, and Dark too, which was a harder blow because Dark had never done anything wrong, so why did he come here when he died?

Because he broke the code, he went back to the human world using you~

That was not his own voice, but it was whispering in his ears, taunting him, and he hated it so much, he saw a few of Raven's pack, including Raven himself, as well as what really maxe his heart drum behin his ribs painfully, there were children here, no different treatment to the adults, all in their little spaces and screeching, and yet he couldn't blame them, what could they have done to deserve all of this?

There were fucking babies too, and it made his skin crawl in shame because he knew he could do nothing for them, he was just as trapped as they were and the alpha part of his nature could get very defensive over children or weak and sick people, especially pack, an automatic need to care.

He had to stop this.

He didn't know what to do, but there were some people leaning against their invisible walls for support, and so he leant up against it too, pushing as much as he could, and he almost gave up, until he saw it, even if he had never heard it happen, it filled him with determination...

A tiny little crack.

It looked strange, as it was a crack that appeared to just be floating in the air, but it could almost be compared to extremely strong glass, and he was just managing to break through it, into the space and person next to him, he'd have to get through all of them, wouldn't he?

He wouldn't have a shoulder after all of this.

He eventually fell into the space next to him when he broke through the glass wall, or whatever it was, and then fell through the smashed wall into the next person's room, a man he didn't recognise, and he looked so frail and weak in a way that made him want to help, but knew that he had to get out of there first.

The man was kicking and screaming, so he took the other man's shoulders and upper arms in a vice-like grip, and the man froze, too shocked to speak.

"I'm sorry, I don't know if you can hear me or if you just know I'm here, but I need to get through these walls, I'm trying to get out of here."

The man's hands slowly reached up to his own upper arms, and he let them with a small flinch, not knowing what this man might do but he felt the thin, bony hands squeeze his arms and the man smiled, as best he could over the pain.

"I can hear if you're close, you seem so much stronger than anyone here, we waste away... I'll never get out, but I hope you do..."

He murmured a small thank you and slammed the bone of his shoulder into the wall, which ended in a sharp crack, and he had no idea if it was from his bone or the wall, but after a little more pushing, that part of the wall went through too, and he was in the space of a small child, she only looked to be around two, so he just left her, not trying to communicate and so he managed to shove through her wall too, he thought he was heading north, but he couldn't really tell, just going straight ahead and hoping for the best.

He went through wall after wall, until he had lost count after around 37, but his shoulder was throbbing, and it was only then that he realised the previous pain that had been coursing through hi had slowly diminished.

He had no idea where he was going.

He ended up in the metaphorical and literal cell of a young woman, who still actually had her eyes, which had surprised him, but they were glossy and silvered, and he instantly understood.

She had already been blind.

But she seemed to know he was there, pointing to the next wall he intended to go through, she had a strange sense of calm, talking over all of the screams in a voice far too wise for her age.

"You need to leave North, there's something up there, I can feel it, but I don't know what it is..."

And then she fell silent, refusing to speak anymore as he shrugged to himself and continued on, through what seemed to be hundreds more of the cells, until he had come to the end, saw a grand staircase leading to a higher platform and a pair of double doors up there too, but they were closed and he had no idea what was up there.

He eventually made it out, and once he had climbed the staircase, he finally managed to look out over many of these cages, and one which he saw made his heart heavy and desperate to make it all the way back there.

Anti.

Anti was there.

But he was alone, leant half-heartedly against one of the near walls and he could not see anything particularly wrong with his omega until he saw it, the flicker, if he only saw it for a single second, he had almost thought he imagined it, but then he saw it...

Again.

Why was Anti glitching as if he was a broken machine?

That, and every time it happened, he seemed to become less and less solid, as if he was slowly becoming something of a ghost, or a part of his imagination, flickering in and out of his very own existence, only for him to glitch and then he was less visible than before, though he himself barely even seemed to care about that anymore.

"Omega?"

He watched Anti look up, and yet most of him didn't feel anything at the happiness in those eyes, the happiness to see him, but he couldn't bring himself to care in a way, he felt frozen and numb to the emotions he knew he was supposed to be feeling, yet he wasn't at all...

Why?...

"Mark?"

He didn't even try to move, suddenly feeling suspiciously dizzy and sick, as if he didn't know what to do with himself.

"Alpha? Why are you... Why are you turning... Black and white...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD YET BITCHES.
> 
> That's all I have to say.


	15. I Don't Know Anymore

Okay, I had to finally say something about this.

I know I haven't updated this thing in a long time, but the truth, I started writing this whole series nearly two years ago, and my writing has improved so much in that time that I feel like this series as a whole is not actually showing the best of the writing that I can produce as a writer, and so I am no longer officially updating this fic because I don't have inspiration for it anymore, it's just sitting there, and as much as I loved it like my child for a long time, I know that I'm likely not going to want to continue this thing for a long time because I know how bad the writing in earlier chapters was, too many spelling errors as well as a whole host of grammatical ones, I can't bring myself to read it most of the time anymore, and I barely even remember what has happened in the whole of the first and seconds books, there would be no reason to continue now, I don't want to.

I also doubt that anyone else actually cares about this fic series as a whole anymore, so it's being discontinued, who knows, maybe I will begin to write it again someday, but it'll more likely end up forgotten, and I think, I'm finally okay with that now, we have to let things go sometimes, even if it I do have a bit of a problem with letting things go.

But I won't forget anyone who followed me on the journey of writing this series, I love you all, and please don't be sad even if you did like this shitty little thing, you'll forget about it soon enough and then you won't have to feel bad anyway.

I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to update this anymore and I am so, so sorry if I let anyone down, please don't hate me, believe me, I already hate myself enough for the whole world at this point.

Have a good life.

Signing off, finally, this shitty little author who lets people down,

Trinity~

<3


End file.
